Indoor Games

[Verse 1]

Indoor fireworks amuse your kitchen staff

Dusting plastic garlic plants they snigger in the draught

When you ride through the parlour wearing nothing but your armour

[Refrain]

Playing indoor games

[Verse 2]

One string puppet shows amuse your sycophantic friends

Who cheer your rancid recipes in fear they might offend

Whilst you loaf on your sofa, sporting falsies and a toga

[Refrain]

Playing indoor games, indoor game

[Verse 3]

Your mean teetotum sins arouse your seventh wife

Who pats her sixty little skins and reinsures your life

Whilst you sulk in your sauna 'cause you lost your jigsaw corner

[Refrain]

Playing indoor games, indoor games

[Verse 4]

Each afternoon you train baboons to sing

Or swim in purple perspex water wings

Come Saturday jump chopper, Chelsea brigade

Hard bender-trender

[Refrain]

It's all indoor games

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 5]

No ball bagatelle incites your children to conspire

They slide across your frying pan and fertilise your fire

Still you and Jones go madder, broken bones, broken ladder

[Outro]

Hey ho

Yeah, *laughter*

Hey ho, *laughter*