1-900-LL Cool J

{*phone rings twice*} Yo.. "Hello 1-900-LL Cool J?" Yeah whassup? "Can you please bust a funky rhyme for me?" Yeah I can do that, check this one out honey I motivate, accelerate Devastate, and dominate I don't smoke crack so I won't lose weight Give me the pussy and the money and the mic and I'm straight Go to a restaurant, give me steak Then cook my chicken with Shake'n'Bake I leave all the preachin to Reverand Flake How much money can one black man make? Huh I'm what's known as a true dynamiter I write rhymes fast without a typewriter Go with the flow, but no, I'm not a biter Can't compare a cock-a-roach and a spider Hell, you might as well get a glass of punch Cause you're bitin my lyrics like a Nestle Crunch, huh And bitin my rhymes ain't slick I got your gold teeth marks all over my dick Complications and aggravation An unnecessary-sation I'm like Sunkist, good vibrations Your al-blum, sounds like a compilation Cool out, grab a seat and listen.. Cause I'mma start dismissin Sucker MC's who's out there frontin Talkin all that yang, yo you smokin somethin Shoulda treated me royal, yo he wasn't loyal Now it's all about chaos and turmoil Gimme that microphone I'mma show you the real meaning of the danger zone {*phone rings*} Yo.. "Hello is this 1-900-LL Cool J?" Yeah whassup? "Can you tell me what you do when you're coolin out?" Yo check this out Now when I'm coolin out, no time for a granny Just a fly girl in t-shirt and panties "Can LL screw?" Man, can he! I tell you what, give up the fanny Cause on a bedroom tune, J's swift Not too big, but nothin to play with In addition, you on a mission You need to audition for another position Doin damage is a crew tradition Name your next al-blum intermission You're full of preservatives -- plus You're too conservative I'm full of flair, savoir faire, debonair There's no competition for this here So don't waste your time and breath I'm givin you all a big F MC's I envelop As the song goes on, the rhyme develops I'm asiatic, acrobatic, charismatic You don't want no static Anyway, I ain't havin it When I see the microphone -- I'm grabbin it Plug it in and take charge LL XL, Xtra-Large KnowhatI'msayin? Peace {*phone rings three times*} Hello? Hello whassup girl? How you doin girl? I been tryin to call you all day Word up I was talkin to LL he was kickin some mo' HYPED up rhymes to me Word, I spoke to him today too - them rhymes WAS pumpin Well not to cut you short but I gotta go cause my man is here Alright See-ya