Herbert

She was further than her father But I was really rather Partial to the way... To the way she took her stand She glanced over his shoulder Urging me to be bolder I subtly tried to push past her old man But he stepped sideways firmly A prop forward from Burnley I felt like I'd walked into a brick wall He menacingly whispered: "Sonny Jim I know exactly where you've been Stop now or believe me - you will fall" She was a preacher's daughter A rugby playing porter Who'd become a wealthy hotelier Before he got the calling That fuels his stonewalling Now he wants to put me my derriere Oh yeah, the wages of sin There's a big fat bloke trying to do me in Well I can't hide and I can't run He's chasing me around with an old shotgun Well it was some time later, that I overheard her pater Holding forth and splendidly well oiled: "Where there's muck there's brass And I'll tell you now no lass Of mine will be sullied or despoiled By a rotten little Herbert My princess made of sherbert A lavender, my cupcake, coo ca choo" My chance's getting slimmer My hopes were going dimmer So I grabbed her and I took her in the loo She was a preacher's daughter And I really didn't oughta Have taken her and done what I have done He wants to take me to the cleaners For previous misdemeanours And get me up the aisle with his shotgun And take me up the aisle with his shotgun Oh yeah, the wages of sin There's a big fat bloke trying to do me in Well I can't hide and I can't run He's chasing me around with an old shotgun Yeah, yeah, the wages of sin There's a big fat bloke trying to do me in Well I can't hide and I can't run He's chasing me around with an old shotgun He's an antique shotgun