Personal

I been searching for that praise for a minute I done tried I been in a daze ill admit it I won't lie Give a fuck if they didn't meant it this my life Homie im taking it personal I been drunk for 25 days a month I been stuck for like more like 31 Im about to face this personal Homie im taking it personal Thoughts all deep Drinking knob creek Rhythm off beat, livin all bleek Drying from life and my symptoms on fleek Holy water jus drip on my cheek And it fall to my lips i could taste the salt From the weight and the way they talk All the doubt from what they had thought All the running back and fourth tryna pace my heart i won't let you Mirror convos, i dont get you Thinking of all the fun come from being simple That i just dont get to No rescue, i dont want it, i won't neck you See my head too bright won't dull my light Dont kiss ass i ain't even that great at eatin pussy so yall can go ahead and just push me Swallow this whiskey but never my pride I won't hide won't lie no no no no Can't walk in my shoes but truth is I wouldn't want you to that jus might taint my soul so All i know is i dont know All that shows is what dont show All my highs are my lows yo Im tryin, what if i never fight hard enough What if my skin, isnt golden In the shining eyes of the golden I hope to god im enough But at times i feel so alone and stuck I need some answers right now I been drinking and drivin the seatbelts for pussys and clowns I put my faith in green faces but only cause none of them frown Tired of doubters and old toy vides always puttin me down putting me down Rapper by night like im caped to drusade But im still working 8 hours a day We make acquaintance and she tryna date Dranks fell asleep and forgot now im late Ironic i wonder why i be alone Always exposin myself in these poems Wonder if certain things i can atone Ain't wanna do this shit over the phone Know that my body your temple your home I laid it down like position is prone Invite to party dont care to go All my homies like fair enough, emotionally unavailable When will i feel like ive grown Im 25 and still ask my momma to fold all of my clothes Im still a novice when im on the stove Bacon grilled cheese is bout all that i know Slippery slope obligated to soldier Napsack tied to a stick on my shoulder Everyday feels the same Everyday feels the same Can't keep these images out my brain Im callin for guidance im short on replies and im scrollin through all these names Tell me now how can i numb the pain