the competent horse thief

[Verse 1] Surprise, I'm not pretending So committed to the bit that it made me sick But not fatally At least, not yet I have cowered, I have showered But I won't get wet [Chorus] I'm just a competent horse thief Without the benefit of teeth Another competent horse thief Without the benefit of teeth [Verse 2] After After The Fonz After The Fonz I had no plan B to speak of Existing In spite of you Yeah, I melted, then I belted But I won't get screwed [Chorus] I'm just a competent horse thief Without the benefit of teeth Another competent horse thief Without the benefit of teeth [Bridge] Wait Wait The horse has departed before the stable was built It got on a train despite some barrier issues And now it lives happily somewhere in the Cotswolds And keeps to itself No one would even know it was a horse [Verse 3] Oh, no He's getting floaters Who the gods would destroy They first strike blind but it's a phase A brief flirtation I am puzzled, I am muzzled But I have my pride [Chorus] I'm just a competent horse thief Without the benefit of teeth Another competent horse thief Without the benefit of teeth Ahh