Nineteen

There's a fire in my heart But I've got blood in my mouth Tongue caged by my teeth Trying hard just to speak But your shout has got me beat and I'm rusting I'm rusting And my mother always told me "Tread lightly, don't step on his toes" And that was okay at a young age But I am fully grown Suit and tie at the table Another disappointment I'll stay quiet, still unstable I'll swallow the poison 'Cause I am not who you were at nineteen I am not the man you want me to be I'm not a warrior, I am fragile, I am weak I'm not a warrior, I am not you, I'm barely me And someday I hope to make it clear to you That success is not determined by leather-bound books and ink on paper But rather the passion that I have found out of heartbreak and anger I know that happiness is stability, but stability is not a desk job And I refuse to sacrifice my aspirations for an income and security What the hell is "security"? See, I'd rather die at my fullest Poor, but free to roam Than let an office drain me slowly For the sake of a home 'Cause I watched your endless intermission An actor trapped in mediocrity Gave up on your ambitions and your convictions compared to mine What a rigid dichotomy 'Cause I am not who you were at nineteen No, I am not the man you want me to be No, I'm not a warrior, I am fragile, I am weak No, I'm not a warrior, no, I am not you I am not who you were at nineteen No, I am not the man you want me to be No, I am not, no, I am not No, I am not my father's son