flowers bloom inside my head

Am I a spectre Can my body rearrange as I please Stay with my lovers as my body fades away so to speak Is it pathetic to keep wishing someone could save me Grasping for the surface while I'm drowning always lost at sea Just wait in waste every day While I break Nothing's right anyway If only I could dissipate from everyone that only sees me as an object Reinforcement of the roles I won't be Though there's the vividness of nightmares that I can't escape Real ones always follow me in waking, forming, taking shape This awful feeling I've gone missing never goes away The instant replay of my memories come out to prey on me Water the soil of my inspiration Help me stay grounded so the flowers bloom inside my head and don't decay There's something I can't shake There's something I can never shake There's something I can't shake There's something I can't Just wait Just wait Just wait in waste every day While I break Nothing's right anyway While blood starts to thin Will I bleed out to the wind Split in half as twins Sewing up their skin for their sins