ESSEX LAND

Welcome to Essexland There's lots of cash-in-hand And this is just one man's story So here it goes Spending doll at the booky shop Done the lot Now it's back to noodle pots Who's the boss? Of profit loss Out the front St George's cross On his land Contraband Fell off the back of a Luton van It's all back hand And brickie tans I don't expect you to understand If you're not from Essex land He's an Essex man in an Essex land He goes to work where he earns his grand And he makes it last all week Bills to pay and mouths to feed Life is just so fun in Essex land (We always slum it right) Saving for a Turkey trip To bring my hairline back a bit Cheaper if I go away Get my teeth done in a day Lower than the asking price Cheap cologne And furry dice And we do it all to fit in nice Some do it just to entice In Essex land Not me though He's an Essex man in an Essex land He goes to work where he earns his grand And he makes it last all week Bills to pay and mouths to feed Life is just so fun in Essex land He walks the tight rope In Essex land He never drives slow In Essex land They call him John Doe In Essex land He gets what he wants so cheap it's almost free In Essex land (We always slum it right) Double Dutch Dip the clutch Goodbye thank you very much Can you tell Here from hell I can, different personnel Beginners luck Tummy tuck Corners shop they've all been shut Au revoir, So long and fare well Another thing that's been and gone In Essex land Spend the night at the bar The pub was full from my memoir Standing at the fruit machines The bloke behind me looking mean Fancy that I'm gonna leave Beer is soaking up my sleeve Seen somethings you won't believe so it's Back to where I'm out of sight But where? I'll tell you where In fucking Essex land He's an Essex man in an Essex land He goes to work where he earns his grand And he makes it last all week Bills to pay and mouths to feed Life is just so fun in Essex land (We always slum it right) He walks the tight rope In Essex land He never drives slow In Essex land They call him John Doe In Essex land He gets what he wants so cheap it's almost free In Essex land (We always slum it right)