Depression

[Verse] My thought patterns are composed by a time-bomb for an author Like pigs to the slaughter A symphony of self-doubt sings out, breath starts getting shorter Running water Is the state that I wish to become Instead concrete envelopes my movement and I am rendered, deaf and dumb Unable to heed the advice of others Don't tell me things will get better 'Cause so far things haven't got better I've got the sweater Poster child Bipolar ADHD Therapists wet dream I don't wanna talk about my father, I don't wanna talk about my dead friend I don't wanna talk about myself, I'm sick of talking about myself I'm sick of talking about my self and realizing that talking about myself never, ever helps Still...I call for help, 'cause I really want help But the pills didn't seem to help And the therapists didn't seem to help But still... I want help I've danced with the devil in hell I've sat in a prisonless cell And here I always dwell In this prison in myself [Bridge] I do this thing where my mind travels back to the golden age You know those times where you were carefree and everything was golden? The golden age You know those times where everything was golden? Where you were carefree and everything was golden The hardest thing I ever had to do Was come to terms with the fact that... [Verse 2] That time never really existed, I've always felt so fucking detached And broken, bruised and mismatched Find it hard to relax, living under the cracks Try to fill in the gaps, lying here on my back Still, I can't find it Sense of peace, yeah? My mind declined it Pulse increased and my sweat combines with A feeling so deep I fall inside it Depression, I hate you, depression Your constant oppression Respond with aggression They say depression brings you lessons Constant stressing conceals blessings You will grow in broken settings Fuck those lessons, fuck depression I've been living in your shadow for so long that I forgot how I can shine How I can find a refuge in my mind How am I meant to sit here and unwind? The planets align, I feel like I'm cursed Feel like I'm cursed to just be here to hurt I feel like I'm cursed just to be here to bleed with my demons, been feeling this way since birth [Outro] Depression I hate you, depression I hate you, depression I hate you, depression I hate you, depression I hate you, depression I hate you, depression