(Spoken Intro)
[NICK]
All right, I'm gonna head out
[CHLOE]
Have fun
[NICK]
What are you gonna do?
[CHLOE]
Just finish up work and relax
[NICK]
Okay, well, don't miss me too much
[CHLOE]
I won't
[NICK]
All right, bye
(Musical Intro)
[CHLOE]
Finally, he's gone
[EGO]
I have the whole night to unwind
[MELISSA]
And do a little self-care
[KATE]
The only way I know how
(Song)
[WOMEN]
I'm gonna watch a murder show, murder show
I'm gonna watch a murder show
Netflix, Showtime
HBO and Dateline
Murder show, murder show
I'm gonna watch a murder show
YouTube, Hulu
That's my favorite thing to do
[CHLOE]
Two sisters got killed on a cruise in the Bahamas
I'm gonna half watch it while I fold my pajamas
[MELISSA]
Severed limbs found on a beach in Chula Vista
But I just kinda stare while I eat a piece of pizza
[EGO]
They dig up some bodies and do an autopsy
[CHLOE]
Boring!
[EGO]
Wake me up when it's Munchausen by proxy
[KATE]
A bodybuilder chopped up an old lady
I watch it while I text my sister 'bout her baby
[WOMEN]
Murder show, murder show
Every type of murder show
Late night, true crime
This is my relaxin' time
Murder show, murder show
I'm gonna watch a murder show
[CHLOE]
Last night, I found a new one
Where they found a cheerleader's head in an old coal mine
I watch it while I pay my taxes online
[EGO]
Satanic killer on the loose in Texas
And I'm on Insta keepin' tabs on my exes
[MELISSA]
Cannibals cut off people's flesh and they boil it
I watch it all while I'm sittin' on the toilet
[KATE]
Six pretty girls got scalped at the prom
I watch it in the background while I FaceTime my mom
[WOMEN]
And as soon as I'm done, I listen to a podcast
About the same guy as the show I just watched
'Cause now I'm fully down the rabbit hole
I hope for a body count, like six or seven
A really high body count, 10 or 11
15, 16, now it's getting interesting
If it's not at least 20, then girl, he ain't worth it
(Spoken Interlude)
[NICK]
What the hell? Have you just been watching murder shows all night?
[CHLOE]
Uh, yes
[NICK]
You do realize that there's a type of show that's even better than murder shows, right?
[CHLOE]
Wait, what?
[NICK]
Oh, yeah
(Song)
Have you heard about cult shows, cult shows?
Different kinds of cult shows
Brainwash, sex, and ugly dudes
And a bit of volleyball
Death cults, sex cults
We all like sex cults
[ALL]
Murder shows and cult shows
[MELISSA]
And don't forget baking shows
(Spoken)
What? I like baking shows! Whatever, screw you guys. I'm eating all of them
(Outro)
[NICK]
Body shows
