Red Cap

[Verse 1] Everything I've said until now is a lie Know you like it but I'm sickly inside They like to see you suffer, don't know why 'Cause it's getting harder for me not to cry Never thought I'd have a panic attack But now in the shower, I'm clenching my back Dig my nails into it, blood dripping out And my friends can't find my ass How do you tell someone you love that you wanna choke on pills? How do you force yourself to go on when you've got no self-will? Wanna chain smoke a whole pack, they all tell me smoking kills If it kills, then it probably will, 'cause my body is weak and I'm growing ill [Bridge] I'm losing it, I'm losing it I'm losing it, I'm losing it [Verse 2] Imagine having someone there to wash your pain away But I can't grasp that thought, that's not the life for me I don't know how to love another person easily I'm alone for now and I think that's the only way I said a lot of things that I probably shouldn't say I've let a lot of people down, so what's the price to pay? I can't reference what I'm thinking, not my game to play Running faster as the light that's in me starts to fade Why live real life? I'll just stay here watching anime Taking three pills even though they're only one a day Put me in a coma so I can't communicate And pull me down to hell 'cause heaven's just too far away The wounds upon my body bleed 'til they disintegrate But scars are left, I can't forget that this is not okay And how it hurts the ones who love me and my family If they saw me in this state, I don't know what they'd say