Chop Chop Chop

[Intro]

Chop, chop, chop

The demise of Planet X

Fucking bummers!

[Chorus]

People, places, parties

People, places, parties

You don't wanna get me started

People, places, parties

[Verse 1]

I followed her upstairs

Said a few nice words to her

Then dragged her into what looked to be a stockroom

Situated next to the girls' toilets

I picked her up

And placed her on top of two crates of champagne

Unbuttoned her dress

And got down to some real Southampton

She said she couldn't give up on old habits

Meaning me, which I thought was sweet

But the last time I got off with her was about ten years ago

You need to get out of it more, darling

[Chorus]

People, places, parties

People, places, parties

You don't wanna get me started

People, places, parties

[Verse 2]

I asked the porn star if he was still doing films, he said yeah

And if I was interested in raping young girls on a fortnightly basis

Then I should send him a few naked photos to his email address

[email protected]

So I went into the loo, got my phone out

And took a picture of the large shit falling out of my hairy fucking arse

I wiped my arse

And sprinkled the last few crumbs of stone into a roll up

I walked up to the [?], lit it up

What's he gonna fucking do?

Fucking beetroot head!

I walked back into the club, few knobs

I seen the porn star dancing, I walked up to him

I slammed my phone right in his face

"Here's the fucking photograph you wanted, ya fucking rapist!"

[Chorus]

People, places, parties

People, places, parties

You don't wanna get me started

People, places, parties

[Verse 3]

She insists I go meet her family for Christmas

At some crap twenty first in some shit club

So I went - it was terrible

Bunch of thick bastards eating cheap party food

She's bantin' around, flirting with everybody

Jigging her knobbly knees to Jay-Z and Beyonce

Disgusting fucking behavior!

I gotta drive

I’m eight times over the fucking limit (Nee naw, nee naw!)

I'm having to buy her dad drinks - that pissed me off

I bumped into some piece of wood at the bar

Boring me shitless

With news that he works as a personal trainer

His ugly fucking mate stood there, grinning at me

If there's one thing I regret about that night

It's missing the opportunity at filling that cunt's fucking face in

[Chorus]

People, places, parties

People, places, parties

You don't wanna get me started

People, places, parties

Skip... I got him. I need you to come pick me up, alright? I got bit by a fuckin' diseased dog, goddamnit!

[Verse 4]

I pick her up, she's got a kid

She sits in the front with her kid

The coppers stop us, I can't be arsed with it

We pick her kiddie chair up from her ex-husband's

He piles outside the house, screaming

Scabs all over his fucking face

I can't be arsed with it

I put the kid in the back, tell it to fucking stop crying

I put some hip hop on, the kid stops crying - weird

We drive, meet the geezer

He's horrible, horrible and hungry

We have to go to McDonald's

I waste half my burger 'cause his breath fucking stinks

He got rumbled two nights ago

So we have to drive an extra ten miles to [?]

I drop him off, do a U turn

Wait five minutes and drive back

He's lost half of it

I do another U turn

He's doing his nut, I want to hit the cunt

He gets out, he finds it, the kid's screaming

Eight ounces of flat crack

A fucking lorry's driven over it

This is fucking unbelievable!

We drive, we stop

Chop, chop, chop

A mini orgy in the back of the car, the kid's screaming

Five different pairs of hands inside the bitch's bra

Bitches' Brew... bitch's bra, why not?

[Chorus]

People, places, parties

People, places, parties

You don't wanna get me started

People, places, parties

[Bridge]

The north won't let me go

Fucking north won't let me go, oi!

The north won't let me go, one on!

The north won't let me go

[Chorus]

People, places, parties

People, places, parties

You don't wanna get me started

People, places, parties

Yeah!