Antifreeze and Chocolate Biscuits

[Verse 1] Lose our morals each December Promise each year we'll be better All our good intentions forgotten like an extra Bottle of Lynx shower gel that I didn't even ask for and Auntie Val's given me again [Pre-Chorus] Relatives come out the woodwork Carol singers make my head hurt Death by cringe John Lewis adverts [Chorus] At Christmas Since the magic has faded, everybody gets wasted At Christmas When you're crying to Slade with your sad Tinder date At the annual office party We're all just desperate, aren't we? At Christmas At Christmas [Verse 2] Granny's tipsy on the good wine We're all arguing by lunchtime Call me ungrateful, I got a mug from James That looks suspiciously like the one we gave him last year, what a joke [Pre-Chorus] Relatives come out the woodwork Carol singers make my head hurt Death by cringe John Lewis adverts [Chorus] At Christmas Since the magic has faded, everybody gets wasted At Christmas When you're crying to Slade with your sad Tinder date At the annual office party We're all just desperate, aren't we? At Christmas At Christmas [Bridge] Dead mistletoe, scrap in Tesco Dad burnt the roast, bad cracker joke Omnibus soaps, mince pies are gross All of our hopes lost in the post Transport is a no-go Bought my presents from the Esso Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas Here's some antifreeze and chocolate biscuits You shouldn't have You actually shouldn't have [Chorus] At Christmas Since the magic has faded, everybody gets wasted At Christmas When you're crying to Slade with your sad Tinder date At the annual office party We're all just desperate, aren't we? At Christmas At Christmas [Outro] At Christmas