I'd Rather You Cheat

[Chorus] I said to you that I was in my darkest ever place And I told you I was struggling But you could only ever play the victim So you went and told your friends that "He's a prick but I'm in love with him" Prick or not was crying out for help If you really gave a shit you wouldn't leave me there to melt Putting tweets up as if I'm tryna benefit myself You can hate me but to blatantly ignore my cries to listen You can undermine my love but never never undermine my health I'd just rather you cheat [Verse] Yeah, I never called you over night because I'd rather you sleep But you would never do the same because you'd rather I speak You don't want a heart to love You want a heart you can keep Yeah, and you saw me at my lowest tryna handle my grief So why the fuck you can't acknowledge when my pains at it's peak? That's the single fucking reason that I struggle to speak I'm not alcohol dependant it just helps me escape I slip into train of thoughts and then I'm in them for days The way my head would pound it ain't no minimum wage I know my sister understands and she just know me as James Boys will open up but once they're over the phase Every time I open up I get it thrown in my face Couple months and my emotions are all over the place This is true all over England and all over the States Mental trouble ain't a thing that just a story can heal You can post what you want but that don't mean that you're real It means you know the fucking person you want people to see How many people do you check on when they struggle to sleep? How many people do you check on when they're quite at work? We just stigmatise the truth and tell our idols to twerk All we do is work for money, sell our data to scum Since my best friend passed I'm never buying the Sun This album's been a mess 'cos I've been lower than low And my only plan of action is fucking go with the flow Slowly cooking all my thoughts I bet they fall off the bone Everybody knows the devil I think they call it a phone I ain't dropped shit in a minute but they'll call me the GOAT And I don't know if goats can swim but me I'm barely afloat If I die who takes the crown? 'Cos I'm the heir to the throne My biggest problem is myself and when I'm sat on my own I don't know what fucking happened man, I used to be blessed I guess a year can change a lot 'cos now I'm fucking depressed But cool you probably think they're lyrics I just get off my chest These aren't lyrics these are thoughts man, I'm living with stress If you saw me at the pub you'd think I'm chatting the most How you cocky and depressed bruv, I don't even know And there ain't an ounce of fear when I'm out with my bros But anxiety's a killer when I'm back in my home I distract myself by chasing after beautiful women I ain't ever felt depressed when there's a worldie I'm kissing And to you I'll say "I'm sorry, I just wish it was different" I didn't mean to write this song but if I didn't I'm tripping Imperfection or I'm perfection, that depends if I've got space or not Fuck a PCR test and fuck a lateral flow Just play my music and you'll see if they've got taste or not I've got new bars smudged up covering my palm like the logo on my Angels top I guess I'll die by my lyrics 'cos my veins will pop I guess I'll die by my lyrics 'cos my veins will pop, yeah [Chorus] I said to you that I was in my darkest ever place And I told you I was struggling But you could only ever play the victim So you said to all your friends that "He's a prick but I'm in love with him" Prick or not was crying out for help If you really gave a shit you wouldn't leave me there to melt Putting tweets up as if I'm tryna benefit myself You can hate me but to blatantly ignore my cries to listen You can undermine my love but never never undermine my health I'd just rather you cheat