I'd Rather You Cheat

[Chorus]

I said to you that I was in my darkest ever place

And I told you I was struggling

But you could only ever play the victim

So you went and told your friends that "He's a prick but I'm in love with him"

Prick or not was crying out for help

If you really gave a shit you wouldn't leave me there to melt

Putting tweets up as if I'm tryna benefit myself

You can hate me but to blatantly ignore my cries to listen

You can undermine my love but never never undermine my health

I'd just rather you cheat

[Verse]

Yeah, I never called you over night because I'd rather you sleep

But you would never do the same because you'd rather I speak

You don't want a heart to love

You want a heart you can keep

Yeah, and you saw me at my lowest tryna handle my grief

So why the fuck you can't acknowledge when my pains at it's peak?

That's the single fucking reason that I struggle to speak

I'm not alcohol dependant it just helps me escape

I slip into train of thoughts and then I'm in them for days

The way my head would pound it ain't no minimum wage

I know my sister understands and she just know me as James

Boys will open up but once they're over the phase

Every time I open up I get it thrown in my face

Couple months and my emotions are all over the place

This is true all over England and all over the States

Mental trouble ain't a thing that just a story can heal

You can post what you want but that don't mean that you're real

It means you know the fucking person you want people to see

How many people do you check on when they struggle to sleep?

How many people do you check on when they're quite at work?

We just stigmatise the truth and tell our idols to twerk

All we do is work for money, sell our data to scum

Since my best friend passed I'm never buying the Sun

This album's been a mess 'cos I've been lower than low

And my only plan of action is fucking go with the flow

Slowly cooking all my thoughts

I bet they fall off the bone

Everybody knows the devil I think they call it a phone

I ain't dropped shit in a minute but they'll call me the GOAT

And I don't know if goats can swim but me I'm barely afloat

If I die who takes the crown? 'Cos I'm the heir to the throne

My biggest problem is myself and when I'm sat on my own

I don't know what fucking happened man, I used to be blessed

I guess a year can change a lot 'cos now I'm fucking depressed

But cool you probably think they're lyrics I just get off my chest

These aren't lyrics these are thoughts man, I'm living with stress

If you saw me at the pub you'd think I'm chatting the most

How you cocky and depressed bruv, I don't even know

And there ain't an ounce of fear when I'm out with my bros

But anxiety's a killer when I'm back in my home

I distract myself by chasing after beautiful women

I ain't ever felt depressed when there's a worldie I'm kissing

And to you I'll say "I'm sorry, I just wish it was different"

I didn't mean to write this song but if I didn't I'm tripping

Imperfection or I'm perfection, that depends if I've got space or not

Fuck a PCR test and fuck a lateral flow

Just play my music and you'll see if they've got taste or not

I've got new bars smudged up covering my palm like the logo on my Angels top

I guess I'll die by my lyrics 'cos my veins will pop

I guess I'll die by my lyrics 'cos my veins will pop, yeah

[Chorus]

I said to you that I was in my darkest ever place

And I told you I was struggling

But you could only ever play the victim

So you said to all your friends that "He's a prick but I'm in love with him"

Prick or not was crying out for help

If you really gave a shit you wouldn't leave me there to melt

Putting tweets up as if I'm tryna benefit myself

You can hate me but to blatantly ignore my cries to listen

You can undermine my love but never never undermine my health

I'd just rather you cheat