Guilty as Sin?

Drowning in the Blue Nile He sent me "Downtown Lights" I hadn't heard it in a while My boredom's bone-deep This cage was once just fine Am I allowed to cry? I dream of cracking locks Throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks Crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox I'm seeing visions, am I bad? Or mad? Or wise? What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind? One slip and falling back into the hedge maze Oh, what a way to die I keep recalling things we never did Messy top lip kiss How I long for our trysts Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin? I keep these longings locked In lowercase, inside a vault Someone told me, "There's no such thing as bad thoughts Only your actions talk" These fatal fantasies giving way to labored breath Taking all of me, we've already done it in my head If it's make-believe Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow? What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind? One slip and falling back into the hedge maze Oh, what a way to die My bedsheets are ablaze, I've screamed his name Building up like waves crashing over my grave Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin? What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyway What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly I choose you and me religiously What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind? One slip and falling back into the hedge maze Oh, what a way to die I keep recalling things we never did Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trysts Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin? He sent me "Downtown Lights" I hadn't heard it in a while Am I allowed to cry?