Help! - Film Script

(Man bellows) In the name of Preverti, daughter of the mountains ¶ 0:09 - 0:13 whose embrace with Rani made the whole world tremble. 0:13 - 0:15 (All) Tremble! 0:15 - 0:17 (Man) Tremble. 0:17 - 0:19 Whose name is the Terrible. 0:19 - 0:24 Whose name is Baleful. Whose name is inaccessible. 0:24 - 0:28 Whose name is the Black Mother, mother of darkness. 0:28 - 0:32 (All) Kaili! 0:32 - 0:38 (Man) We turn our hearts to Kaili, Drinker of blood, Black Mother. 0:38 - 0:41 (All) Kaili! 0:41 - 0:47 (Man) Killer of demons, gorge on this flesh, our offering. 0:47 - 0:51 - Drink... - Halt! 0:51 - 0:53 - Halt? - The ring. 0:53 - 0:57 She is not wearing the sacrificial ring. 0:57 - 0:58 (Murmuring) 0:58 - 1:01 She cannot be sacrificed without the ring. 1:01 - 1:04 Where is the ring? What has she done with the ring? 1:04 - 1:07 (All) The ring! The ring! 1:07 - 1:09 ♪ Help! I need somebody 1:09 - 1:12 ♪ Help! Not just anybody 1:12 - 1:14 ♪ Help! You know I need someone 1:14 - 1:17 ♪ Help! 1:17 - 1:22 ♪ When I was younger, so much younger than today 1:22 - 1:27 ♪ I never needed anybody's help in anyway 1:27 - 1:32 ♪ But now these days are gone I'm not so self assured 1:32 - 1:37 ♪ Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the doors 1:37 - 1:41 ♪ Help me if you can I'm feeling down 1:41 - 1:47 ♪ And I do appreciate you being 'round 1:47 - 1:51 ♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground 1:51 - 1:57 ♪ Won't you please, please help me? 1:57 - 2:03 ♪ And now my life has changed in oh so many ways 2:03 - 2:08 ♪ My independence seems to vanish in the haze 2:08 - 2:13 ♪ But ev'ry now and then I feel so insecure 2:13 - 2:18 ♪ I know that I just need you like I've never done before 2:18 - 2:22 ♪ Help me if you can I'm feeling down 2:22 - 2:28 ♪ And I do appreciate you being 'round 2:28 - 2:32 ♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground 2:32 - 2:38 ♪ Won't you please, please help me? 2:38 - 2:43 ♪ When I was younger, so much younger than today 2:43 - 2:48 ♪ I never needed anybody's help in anyway 2:48 - 2:53 ♪ But now these days are gone I'm not so self assured 2:53 - 2:58 ♪ Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the doors 2:58 - 3:03 ♪ Help me if you can I'm feeling down 3:03 - 3:09 ♪ And I do appreciate you being 'round 3:09 - 3:13 ♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground 3:13 - 3:17 ♪ Won't you please, please help me? 3:17 - 3:20 ♪ Help me, help me 3:20 - 3:24 ♪ Ooh ♪ 3:24 - 3:27 - Oh, shocking. - Monstrous. 3:27 - 3:30 - Ahme. - The necessary preparations... 3:30 - 3:33 - The preparations for my departure... - Are made. 3:33 - 3:36 - At once, without delay. - The ring. 3:36 - 3:40 Over the water we must go. 3:40 - 3:42 - Bhuta. - You ask of me, Master? 3:42 - 3:45 - Obedience and Love. - This is so. 3:45 - 3:47 - Ahme. - This is so. 3:47 - 3:49 - The ring. - Has nobody looked on the washbasin? 3:49 - 3:53 I am making the immediate arrangements for my necessary... 3:53 - 3:54 - Are made. - At once. 3:54 - 3:57 - ...visit to England. - In hand. 3:57 - 3:58 Something must be done. 3:58 - 4:01 Without the ring, there will be no sacrifice, 4:01 - 4:03 without the sacrifice, no congregation. 4:03 - 4:06 Without a congregation... 4:06 - 4:09 ...no more me. 4:09 - 4:22 This is so. 4:22 - 4:25 - Wave. - I don't like to. 4:25 - 4:27 - Go on, wave. - Shall I? 4:27 - 4:30 They expect it, don't they. 4:30 - 4:33 Lovely lads and so natural. 4:33 - 4:35 Adoration hasn't gone to their heads. 4:35 - 4:38 You know what I mean, success. 4:38 - 5:09 So natural and still the same as they was before they was. 5:09 - 5:14 (Rattling) 5:14 - 5:31 (Organ music plays) 5:31 - 5:36 - Someone's got hold of my finger. - You trying to attract attention again? 5:36 - 5:39 She's pulling at it. 5:39 - 5:40 (Yells) Oh! 5:40 - 5:50 Ow! 5:50 - 5:51 She had my finger, you know... 5:51 - 5:55 Stop trying to drag things down to your own level. 5:55 - 6:02 I thought she was a sandwich until she went spare on my hand. 6:02 - 6:06 It's cold. it's a cold place. 6:06 - 6:11 - So, the ring? - No. I could not get it off, Swami. 6:11 - 6:17 Oh dear! 6:17 - 6:25 (Engine revs) 6:25 - 7:38 (Clock ticks) 7:38 - 7:51 (Thuds) 7:51 - 7:55 Hey! Have you been messing with me in my kip? 7:55 - 7:57 I mean, with a fishing rod. 7:57 - 8:01 I wouldn't touch you with a plastic one. What are you doing on the floor? 8:01 - 8:35 I'm tired. 8:35 - 8:41 (Phones ring) 8:41 - 8:44 - Hello? - Hello? 8:44 - 9:02 (Alarm clock rings) 9:02 - 9:04 Hey, Bea-atle! 9:04 - 9:08 How about this, Shufti? 9:08 - 9:11 Gold! All of it, pure gold. 9:11 - 9:14 In easy to handle denominational nuggets. Unmarked. 9:14 - 9:17 - Not a mark on them. - No, I hate them. 9:17 - 9:23 - No. - It makes your fingers go green. 9:23 - 9:26 It's not the Beatle with the ring. 9:26 - 9:30 - Aren't I? - No, unfortunately. 9:30 - 9:37 (Giggles) 9:37 - 9:39 Ah! 9:39 - 9:43 Hey, Bea-atle. You shall have fun, eh? 9:43 - 9:49 No thanks, I'm rhythm guitar and mouth organ. 9:49 - 9:51 I didn't encourage that wink. 9:51 - 9:54 - It is not the one. - My gosh. 9:54 - 9:57 They all look the same in their similitude and language. 9:57 - 10:00 Swami, its raining on your... 10:00 - 10:06 After them. 10:06 - 10:09 - Quickly, quickly. - Yes, yes. 10:09 - 10:11 - Right, right. - All in. 10:11 - 10:15 - All in together now, sir. - Now. 10:15 - 10:17 - Ah! Shilling! - Shilling? 10:17 - 10:20 - Shilling. - Oh, shilling! 10:20 - 10:30 - Now! Off! - Off. 10:30 - 10:45 Oh... After them. 10:45 - 10:54 - What first attracted you to me? - Well, you're very polite. 10:54 - 10:56 (Electronic hum) 10:56 - 10:58 (Laughs) 10:58 - 11:05 Ha, ha! 11:05 - 11:06 Hope he's in. 11:06 - 11:16 (indistinct chatter) 11:16 - 11:18 Ow! 11:18 - 11:20 - What are you doing? - Posting a letter. 11:20 - 11:26 Ow! 11:26 - 11:53 (Dog barks) 11:53 - 12:01 (Both hum) 12:01 - 12:19 (Hand dryer whirrs) 12:19 - 12:29 Ow! 12:29 - 12:32 (Whirring stops) 12:32 - 12:37 I am not what I seem. 12:37 - 12:41 Hey! My skin's soaked right through to the skin. 12:41 - 12:43 There's more here than meets the eye. 12:43 - 12:45 - Ho, ho! - Ho! 12:45 - 12:47 - Ho, ho! - Ho! 12:47 - 12:50 - Ho, ho, ho! - Oh! 12:50 - 12:52 - Ho! - Ho, ho! 12:52 - 12:54 Take Five. 12:54 - 12:57 "You're going to lose that girl". 12:57 - 12:59 One, two, three... 12:59 - 13:03 ♪ You're going to lose that girl, yes yes, you're going to lose that girl 13:03 - 13:07 ♪ You're going to lose that girl, yes yes, you're going to lose that girl 13:07 - 13:10 ♪ If you don't take her out tonight 13:10 - 13:14 ♪ She's going to change her mind, she's going to change her mind 13:14 - 13:18 ♪ And I will take her out tonight 13:18 - 13:21 ♪ And I will treat her kind, I'm going to treat her kind 13:21 - 13:25 ♪ You're going to lose that girl, yes yes, you're going to lose that girl 13:25 - 13:29 ♪ You're going to lose that girl, yes yes, you're going to lose that girl 13:29 - 13:32 ♪ If you don't treat her right my friend 13:32 - 13:36 ♪ You're going to find her gone, you're going to find her gone 13:36 - 13:39 ♪ Cause I will treat her right and then 13:39 - 13:43 ♪ You'll be the lonely one, you're not the only one 13:43 - 13:47 ♪ You're going to lose that girl, yes yes, you're going to lose that girl 13:47 - 13:51 ♪ You're going to lose that girl, yes yes, you're going to lose that girl 13:51 - 13:54 ♪ You're going to lose, yes yes, you're going to lose that girl 13:54 - 13:59 ♪ I'll make a point of taking her away from you 13:59 - 14:02 ♪ Watch what you do, yeah 14:02 - 14:12 ♪ The way you treat her, what else can I do? 14:12 - 14:19 ♪ You're going to lose that girl 14:19 - 14:21 ♪ You're going to lose that girl 14:21 - 14:25 ♪ You're going to lose that girl, yes yes, you're going to lose that girl 14:25 - 14:29 ♪ You're going to lose that girl, yes yes, you're going to lose that girl 14:29 - 14:33 ♪ You're going to lose, yes yes, you're going to lose that girl 14:33 - 14:37 ♪ I'll make a point of taking her away from you 14:37 - 14:41 ♪ Watch what you do, yeah 14:41 - 14:46 ♪ The way you treat her, what else can I do? 14:46 - 14:49 ♪ If you don't take her out tonight 14:49 - 14:54 ♪ She's going to change her mind, she's going to change her mind 14:54 - 14:56 ♪ And I will take her out tonight 14:56 - 15:00 ♪ And I will treat her kind, I'm going to treat her kind 15:00 - 15:04 ♪ You're going to lose that girl, yes yes, you're going to lose that girl 15:04 - 15:08 ♪ You're going to lose that girl, yes yes, you're going to lose that girl 15:08 - 15:15 ♪ You're going to lose, yes yes, you're going to lose that girl ♪ 15:15 - 15:18 (indistinct chatter) 15:18 - 15:21 - Boys, are you buzzing? - No thanks, I've got the car. 15:21 - 15:25 No, listen... You'll have to do it again. 15:25 - 15:29 (Over speaker) '♪ I'll make a point of taking her away from you 15:29 - 15:33 '♪ Watch what you do, yeah 15:33 - 15:37 '♪ The way you treat her, what else can I do... ♪' 15:37 - 15:42 (Whirring) 15:42 - 15:43 - Is that you? - No. 15:43 - 15:47 - (Whirring stops) - Don't look at me. 15:47 - 15:49 (Crash) 15:49 - 15:53 it was you buzzing. You naughty boy. 15:53 - 15:55 (Electric saw whirrs) 15:55 - 15:58 (Whispers) Now for the ring! 15:58 - 16:05 (Muffled cries) 16:05 - 16:08 Ow! 16:08 - 16:10 Oh! Oh, that stings. 16:10 - 16:12 (Yells) Kaili! 16:12 - 16:14 Kaili! 16:14 - 16:16 (Ahme) Flee! 16:16 - 16:19 Will you explain everything when the opportunity presents itself? 16:19 - 16:36 - Flee! - OK. 16:36 - 16:50 (Gunshot) 16:50 - 16:53 Oh, goodness me! Sex is creeping in. 16:53 - 16:58 Young people see it in the bazaars, market places, temple... 16:58 - 17:02 No wonder they turn up their noses at a mystical impulse... 17:02 - 17:07 We're taking up fox hunting so young people are involved in their sacrifices. 17:07 - 17:12 And will understand the deep significance of blood well shed. 17:12 - 17:17 Of course I don't expect you to see eye to eye with me... 17:17 - 17:22 What? Who? Where? 17:22 - 17:49 Now... lf you'll pardon me. 17:49 - 17:52 It's played out, any road? You know, rings... 17:52 - 17:54 - Very nice. - It's yours. 17:54 - 17:58 Nah! My missus wouldn't wear a ring like that. Ostentatious, that is! 17:58 - 18:02 - He's from the west. - Nah, east. Stepney. 18:02 - 18:06 - Does this ring mean anything to you? - Freemason? 18:06 - 18:10 - You're all English! - That's what unions are for. 18:10 - 18:15 I tell a lie. We have got one in there from the mystic east... Or we did have. 18:15 - 18:17 (Hollers) Hey, Abdul! 18:17 - 18:20 - Yes. - We did have one, didn't we? 18:20 - 18:23 That lad from the sunnier climate, east of Suez? 18:23 - 18:26 Very nice he was, too. 18:26 - 18:39 I think he's still down there, in the coal hole. 18:39 - 18:42 Doesn't the blood rush to your head, sir? 18:42 - 18:44 Doesn't the eastern flavour come expensive? 18:44 - 18:47 Doesn't the blood rush to your stomach? 18:47 - 18:49 Is this ring nasty, sir? 18:49 - 18:55 Argh! Kaili! Oh dear, I must lie down. 18:55 - 18:59 Oh! That's better. 18:59 - 19:02 Excuse me... This menu... 19:02 - 19:23 (Thump) 19:23 - 19:25 I've just seen the most amazing thing... 19:25 - 19:35 (Gasps) Oh... 19:35 - 19:41 Hey, did you... 19:41 - 19:46 There's a man down there on his head. 19:46 - 19:48 Arthur? 19:48 - 19:51 (Whooshes) 19:51 - 19:57 Could you pick this up for me, please? 19:57 - 20:02 (Sitar music plays) 20:02 - 20:05 (Music stops) 20:05 - 20:11 Are you eating, too, Paul? 20:11 - 20:14 Your friend is in mortal danger. I can say no more. 20:14 - 20:17 (Gasping) 20:17 - 20:21 (Music resumes) 20:21 - 20:24 It's rather a jolly place. 20:24 - 20:27 - Soup, please. - Soup, yeah. 20:27 - 20:29 He has three hours to live. 20:29 - 20:33 - Say no more. - I can say no more. 20:33 - 20:35 I ordered soup too. 20:35 - 20:48 - Soup! - Soup. 20:48 - 20:53 Pardon me, sir. That's a very fascinating ring you've got there. 20:53 - 20:55 - Unless I'm mistaken. - Is it? 20:55 - 20:59 The dreaded sacred sacrificial ring of the dread Kaili. 20:59 - 21:00 - Say no more. - I can say no more. 21:00 - 21:04 Excuse me. if he is to be sacrificed before Kaili, 21:04 - 21:06 why is he not painted red? 21:06 - 21:14 I've never had the courage to ask him, but as he's my best friend I will. 21:14 - 21:17 - Whats this? Glasses? - That's right, sir. Glasses. 21:17 - 21:21 A victim is offered to the dread Kaili everyday. 21:21 - 21:23 All are happy to go. 21:23 - 21:26 He who wins is privileged to wear the sacred ring 21:26 - 21:29 from sun to moon, from moon to sun. 21:29 - 21:33 And at the end of the happy day he is slaughtered jolly with a knife. 21:33 - 21:38 And sacrificed jolly with a knife, so I'm told, with that ring. 21:38 - 21:39 Three hours to live. 21:39 - 21:43 - (Man) You have till five o'clock. - Before a new victim is chosen. 21:43 - 21:46 You are lucky to be chosen! 21:46 - 21:51 My old mum would give her right hand to be chosen. 21:51 - 21:54 - Whats this? - A season ticket. 21:54 - 22:00 I like a lot of seasoning in my soup. 22:00 - 22:02 There's somebody been in this soup. 22:02 - 22:06 I got it from this Eastern bird... lady... in a fan letter. 22:06 - 22:11 I get all sorts. Rubbish, though, isn't it? Sacrifice. 22:11 - 22:13 No? Come off! 22:13 - 22:17 So, get in touch with your authorities and send back the ring to this lady, 22:17 - 22:19 who will then go happy to Kaili. 22:19 - 22:22 - Thank you. - (Bhuta) Three hours. 22:22 - 22:24 There's a footprint in here. 22:24 - 22:28 Here, you have a go. 22:28 - 22:35 (Gasps) Flee! 22:35 - 22:54 (Woman screams) 22:54 - 22:57 We have lots of little problems like this. Some of them matrimonial. 22:57 - 22:59 (Laughs) 22:59 - 23:01 This ring is not stone. 23:01 - 23:12 - I've only got three hours to live. - Therefore, it must be a metal. 23:12 - 23:17 - I don't know this metal. - You're not getting anywhere, are you? 23:17 - 23:20 Early days yet, sir. Therefore it must be an alloy. 23:20 - 23:26 There's a certain amount of hurry up involved here. My life is in danger. 23:26 - 23:28 Three ten. 23:28 - 23:30 - The wheel. - Not the wheel. 23:30 - 23:34 Even the Royal House of Hanover had the wheel, sir. 23:34 - 23:46 (Whirring) 23:46 - 23:49 - I've never seen anything like it. - You've failed. 23:49 - 23:53 - I suggest you see a specialist. - What kind? Your tools are broken. 23:53 - 23:56 The fire brigade once got my head out of some railings. 23:56 - 24:01 - Did you want them to? - No. I left it there when not at school. 24:01 - 24:03 You can see a lot of the world from railings. 24:03 - 24:09 (Electronic beeping) 24:09 - 24:12 I like operations, they give you a sense of outlook. 24:12 - 24:14 This won't work. 24:14 - 24:17 It could work if the government would spend more money. 24:17 - 24:20 Made in America you see. 24:20 - 24:22 Another failure. 24:22 - 24:25 The idea is... The idea as I see it 24:25 - 24:29 is that we expand the molecules and the ring grows bigger and drops off. 24:29 - 24:33 - Whats your electricity bill like? - It's sort of a long counterfoil. 24:33 - 24:37 It's not dropping off. 24:37 - 24:41 Voltage! Voltage... up, up... 24:41 - 24:43 Up, up! 24:43 - 24:46 - Are you sure I'm earthed? - Oh no, hold on. Thank you. 24:46 - 24:50 Made in America. Streets ahead of anything we've got. 24:50 - 24:52 This is English. 24:52 - 24:55 - Is it green, the earth in America? - In some places its brown. 24:55 - 24:57 He's not earthed. 24:57 - 25:04 He's an idiot. Has a degree in woodwork. I ask you! 25:04 - 25:07 Done. 25:07 - 25:10 - 5... 4... - Come on. 25:10 - 25:15 3-2-1-go! I observe the procedure. He'll thank me for it in the end. 25:15 - 25:18 Scientist, you're getting nowhere. 25:18 - 25:22 It's the plugs. Good British plugs. 25:22 - 25:26 All this America rig. Wrong voltage. That's what foxes me. 25:26 - 25:28 - How do you feel? - I used to use my hands. 25:28 - 25:32 He used to use his hands. 25:32 - 25:35 - Will he still be able to drum? - Did he do a lot of it? 25:35 - 25:41 - Voltage... up! - I'm no mean hand at the old sticks. 25:41 - 25:42 The voltage, up, up, up! 25:42 - 25:48 - Hey, he's calling you. Up, up, up! - Up, up, up! 25:48 - 25:52 The bunker! 25:52 - 25:59 (Electronic humming) 25:59 - 26:03 - I can't watch. - It's working! Give it the gun, Algernon. 26:03 - 26:10 (Whirring) 26:10 - 26:12 Stop it! 26:12 - 26:14 It's more than my job's worth! 26:14 - 26:17 He's out to rule the world if he can get a government grant. 26:17 - 26:31 Outrageous! You're nothing but a mad scientist! 26:31 - 26:33 Fantastic! 26:33 - 26:37 With a ring like that I could, dare I say it, rule the world. 26:37 - 26:40 I must have the ring... Algernon, the laser. 26:40 - 26:44 Get your hands off him or I'll call the Metropolitan scuffers! 26:44 - 26:46 The laser... 26:46 - 26:50 - Get him off. - I must have this ring. The laser. 26:50 - 26:55 Halt! Release him or I'll shoot and I am a dead eyeshot shooting. 26:55 - 27:01 - I've got it. - Switch off that machine. 27:01 - 27:04 - The laser. - The laser, yes... 27:04 - 27:07 I'm better with animals than plugs and transistors. 27:07 - 27:10 MIT was after me, wanted me to rule the world for them. 27:10 - 27:13 Daddy being the local master of the hounds. 27:13 - 27:16 That's where I get it from, my love of animals. 27:16 - 27:20 They trust me. I should have been in vivisection. 27:20 - 27:24 How do you know we can trust her? She's had your fingers before, Ringo. 27:24 - 27:28 Well, that was a mistake. I can vouch for her. We're very close. 27:28 - 27:32 - Lasers ready. - Get them! 27:32 - 27:35 (Laser Beeps) 27:35 - 27:38 (Bang) 27:38 - 27:42 It's the wrong plug... Just give me five minutes. 27:42 - 27:50 It's the brain drain. His brain's draining. 27:50 - 27:52 (♪ THE BEATLES: "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away") 27:52 - 27:55 ♪ Here I stand with head in hand 27:55 - 27:59 ♪ Turn my face to the wall 27:59 - 28:03 ♪ if she's gone I can't go on 28:03 - 28:09 ♪ Feeling two foot small 28:09 - 28:13 ♪ Ev'rywhere people stare 28:13 - 28:17 ♪ Each and ev'ryday 28:17 - 28:21 ♪ I can see them laugh at me 28:21 - 28:29 ♪ And I hear them say 28:29 - 28:37 ♪ "Hey, you've got to hide your love away!" 28:37 - 28:45 ♪ "Hey, you've got to hide your love away!" 28:45 - 28:49 ♪ How can I even try? 28:49 - 28:53 ♪ I can never win 28:53 - 28:57 ♪ Hearing them, seeing them 28:57 - 29:02 ♪ In the state I'm in 29:02 - 29:06 ♪ How could she say to me 29:06 - 29:10 ♪ "Love will find a way"? 29:10 - 29:14 ♪ Gather 'round all you clowns 29:14 - 29:22 ♪ Let me hear you say 29:22 - 29:30 ♪ "Hey, you've got to hide your love away!" 29:30 - 29:56 ♪ "Hey, you've got to hide your love away!" ♪ 29:56 - 29:58 I have here... 29:58 - 30:00 (Gasps) 30:00 - 30:03 Now see what you've done with your filthy Eastern ways. 30:03 - 30:07 No! it is Clang, the High Priest, who is filthy in his ways. 30:07 - 30:10 (Posh accent) How do we know you're not sent by him to nick the ring, 30:10 - 30:13 when you've lulled us with your filthy ways? 30:13 - 30:16 - What filthy ways are these? - You can put that away. 30:16 - 30:21 Until this moment you were safe because my sister was chosen 30:21 - 30:24 and no other could be sacrificed to Kaili. 30:24 - 30:32 Now my sister is safe and rises up. 30:32 - 30:35 (Soft clang) 30:35 - 30:39 (Ahme) 'And a new day dawns, a new victim is chosen...' 30:39 - 30:45 From this moment it is death to him who wears the ring. 30:45 - 30:48 This will make your finger shrink. Be brave. 30:48 - 30:49 Don't look. 30:49 - 30:55 Alas, if he were brave this would not be necessary. 30:55 - 31:05 (Birds chirp) 31:05 - 31:08 Where've you been? You've been up that temple again. 31:08 - 31:21 You're as bad as your sister, coming home from work at all hours and colours. 31:21 - 31:23 There might be some insurance. 31:23 - 31:26 I wouldn't think of such a thing! Find out. 31:26 - 31:28 What did you say that stuff is? 31:28 - 31:32 This will just make his finger shrink a little. It's a minor medical secret. 31:32 - 31:35 I'm sure there's no call for all this. 31:35 - 31:39 I'm allergic to Penicillin and all them other wonder drugs. 31:39 - 31:42 - Gum? - Are you sure its not or habit forming? 31:42 - 32:03 No. As long as you don't swallow it. 32:03 - 32:06 (Whispers) All right. Synchronise your watches. 32:06 - 32:15 You, you, you and you. Paint him red and then kill him. 32:15 - 32:17 Kaili. 32:17 - 32:20 Kaili. Kaili. 32:20 - 32:25 I promise you the effect is purely transitory. 32:25 - 32:26 It wears off very quickly. 32:26 - 32:31 (Doorbell rings) (Ahme) Don't answer it! It's Clang. 32:31 - 32:33 (Hollering and knocking) 32:33 - 32:37 - Perhaps it won't take... - This is a dreadful miscarriage. 32:37 - 32:38 (Hollering) 32:38 - 32:41 (Ringo) Come on, my finger! 32:41 - 32:43 Where's Paul? 32:43 - 32:48 Where's Paul? Come on, Paul, stop messing about. 32:48 - 32:50 Where's he gone? 32:50 - 33:13 - Where are you, Paul? - It's his best suit. 33:13 - 33:19 Don't look right or left. They might take us for innocent bystanders. 33:19 - 33:24 (Baby crying) 33:24 - 33:26 - Standby. - (Whispers) Standby. 33:26 - 33:29 Look out! They're coming through the door! 33:29 - 33:35 (Knocking) 33:35 - 33:41 - Go! - Go! 33:41 - 33:49 (Yells) Kaili! 33:49 - 33:55 Kaili... Oh! 33:55 - 34:00 - Sorry, I hit him. - Oh! 34:00 - 34:03 Get me the home office. He's wrecking my home. 34:03 - 34:08 Kaili! Kaili! 34:08 - 34:13 (Gasps) Get off! 34:13 - 34:16 - It's me, you fool. - Oh, sorry. 34:16 - 34:21 Well, stop it! 34:21 - 35:02 Feet! Feet, you fool! 35:02 - 35:13 (Growls) 35:13 - 35:19 (Sobs) 35:19 - 35:25 Kaili! He's red! Kill him! 35:25 - 35:34 (Gunshot) 35:34 - 35:37 Oh, my goodness gosh! Withdraw! Withdraw! 35:37 - 35:40 Up! 35:40 - 35:42 Up, up, up! 35:42 - 35:44 - You! - Which one has the ring? 35:44 - 35:46 That one with the large ned. 35:46 - 35:48 Neb! And its yours. 35:48 - 35:54 - Keep your hands up. - How can I get it off with my hands up? 35:54 - 35:56 In the name of science I demand that ring. 35:56 - 35:57 It's yours! 35:57 - 36:01 - It's worth something. - A couple of bob, at least. 36:01 - 36:05 Had to do all this myself... Backward Britain they call us on Wall Street. 36:05 - 36:09 With a ring like that could I interest the military? 36:09 - 36:11 No, I could not. 36:11 - 36:15 I can't get it off. 36:15 - 36:18 (Squelch) 36:18 - 36:20 - Paul? - Look, what you've done. 36:20 - 36:24 - Hey, is that Paul? - Algernon, my little black bag. 36:24 - 36:27 I shall have to operate. 36:27 - 36:29 It'll be on the National Health, won't it? 36:29 - 36:33 - (Whooshing) - Look! 36:33 - 36:36 Ugh! I'm all sticky. You're all red! 36:36 - 36:39 - We thought that was you. - No that's not me. 36:39 - 36:43 I'm glad it wore off quickly. 36:43 - 36:46 What are you doing here? 36:46 - 36:51 - (Hammer clicks) - Get out! 36:51 - 36:55 British, you see! Useless. If I had a Luger... 36:55 - 36:59 Their scientists are properly equipped. Think on it. 36:59 - 37:09 The remedy is in your hands... you, the voters. 37:09 - 37:15 - Where's Ahme? - I don't know. 37:15 - 37:23 (Speaks in Eastern language) 37:23 - 37:28 (Continues speaking in Eastern language) 37:28 - 37:31 - Hai? - What? Yes... Hai. 37:31 - 37:34 (Continues speaking in Eastern language) 37:34 - 37:37 I don't understand a word. I don't speak the language. 37:37 - 37:40 Latin, yes. But this Eastern babble, no. 37:40 - 37:58 Ah, the ring! Come on, we go. 37:58 - 38:02 (♪ THE BEATLES: "Ticket To Ride") 38:02 - 38:05 ♪ I think I'm gonna be sad 38:05 - 38:09 ♪ I think its today, yeh 38:09 - 38:12 ♪ The girl that's driving me mad 38:12 - 38:17 ♪ ls going away 38:17 - 38:21 ♪ She's got a ticket to ride 38:21 - 38:25 ♪ She's got a ticket to ri-hi-hide 38:25 - 38:33 ♪ She's got a ticket to ride but she don't care 38:33 - 38:36 ♪ She said that living with me 38:36 - 38:41 ♪ Was bringing her down, yeh 38:41 - 38:44 ♪ For she would never be free 38:44 - 38:49 ♪ When I was around 38:49 - 38:53 ♪ She's got a ticket to ride 38:53 - 38:57 ♪ She's got a ticket to ri-hi-hide 38:57 - 39:04 ♪ She's got a ticket to ride but she don't care 39:04 - 39:08 ♪ I don't know why she's riding so high 39:08 - 39:12 ♪ She ought to think twice, she ought to do right by me 39:12 - 39:16 ♪ Before she gets to saying goodbye 39:16 - 39:22 ♪ She ought to think twice, she ought to do right by me 39:22 - 39:25 ♪ I think I'm gonna be sad 39:25 - 39:30 ♪ I think its today, yeh 39:30 - 39:33 ♪ The girl that's driving me mad 39:33 - 39:37 ♪ ls going away, yeh 39:37 - 39:42 ♪ Ah, she's got a ticket to ride 39:42 - 39:46 ♪ She's got a ticket to ri-hi-hide 39:46 - 39:54 ♪ She's got a ticket to ride but she don't care 39:54 - 39:58 ♪ I don't know why she's riding so high 39:58 - 40:02 ♪ She ought to think twice, she ought to do right by me 40:02 - 40:06 ♪ Before she gets to saying goodbye 40:06 - 40:12 ♪ She ought to think twice, she ought to do right by me 40:12 - 40:15 ♪ She said that living with me 40:15 - 40:20 ♪ Was bringing her down, yeh 40:20 - 40:23 ♪ For she would never be free 40:23 - 40:27 ♪ When I was around 40:27 - 40:32 ♪ She's got a ticket to ride 40:32 - 40:36 ♪ She's got a ticket to ri-hi-hide 40:36 - 40:42 ♪ She's got a ticket to ride but she don't care 40:42 - 40:46 ♪ My baby don't care 40:46 - 40:50 ♪ My baby don't care 40:50 - 40:54 ♪ My baby don't care 40:54 - 40:58 ♪ My baby don't care 40:58 - 41:06 ♪ My baby don't care... ♪ 41:06 - 41:13 There they are! 41:13 - 41:19 Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho! 41:19 - 41:22 Oh... 41:22 - 41:28 (Ringo) Wait! 41:28 - 41:31 The blood's rushing to my head. 41:31 - 41:33 Mind that post! 41:33 - 41:38 Put me down. 41:38 - 41:40 Put me down. 41:40 - 41:44 Thank you... Ouch, ouch, ouch! 41:44 - 41:48 Hey! Over here. Wait, wait, wait! 41:48 - 41:50 Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho! 41:50 - 42:05 Ho, ho, ho... Oh! 42:05 - 42:07 Ah... So! 42:07 - 42:10 It's too heavy! 42:10 - 42:12 Here you are. It's not heavy now. 42:12 - 42:15 - (Ringo) Send it down! - (John) Here you are, Ringo. 42:15 - 42:18 I've got it... No, I haven't, its gone past! 42:18 - 42:21 Send this one straight. 42:21 - 42:23 I've got it... No, I haven't. 42:23 - 42:25 - Look out! - Get away! 42:25 - 42:28 I am easing the fuse in now. 42:28 - 42:30 What? 42:30 - 42:32 I know, you fool. I'm here. Steady. 42:32 - 42:36 Steady. I am steady. 42:36 - 42:38 Now a turn to the right and it locks. 42:38 - 42:42 I am turning it to the right. It is locking. 42:42 - 42:44 That's what comes of teaching science by TV. 42:44 - 42:46 You'll thank me in the end. 42:46 - 42:48 I am lifting it up. 42:48 - 42:50 (Curling stone ticks) 42:50 - 42:53 - I am moving my left leg... - Hurry up! 42:53 - 42:58 - I am moving my right leg. - Oh, give it to me! 42:58 - 43:04 - Call it a day. - It's curling stone day. 43:04 - 43:08 When the ice breaks dive straight in. It's the right hand. 43:08 - 43:10 (Mutters) it won't work. 43:10 - 43:15 Soft game... broom sticks. 43:15 - 43:16 Thank you. 43:16 - 43:18 Throw it, George. 43:18 - 43:20 That was good. 43:20 - 43:22 Great. 43:22 - 43:25 Hey, its a thingy. 43:25 - 43:27 (Hollers) A fiendish thingy! 43:27 - 43:29 It was so fast, its smoking. 43:29 - 43:36 Run, Ringo! 43:36 - 43:39 (Curling stone ticks) 43:39 - 43:41 (Ticking stops) 43:41 - 43:48 Useless... ex army rubbish. I cannot get the equipment... 43:48 - 44:00 (Woman screams) 44:00 - 44:04 Excuse me... white cliffs of Dover? 44:04 - 44:08 Thank you. 44:08 - 44:11 Bhuta, here they come, the right flank. 44:11 - 44:31 - Get on! - Stop here. You're in my power! 44:31 - 44:34 In the name of Kaili, stop! Stop! 44:34 - 44:38 Argh! 44:38 - 44:41 My blood group is very unusual. Look! 44:41 - 44:55 My blood group is... 44:55 - 45:01 This way, Swami. 45:01 - 45:13 (Crowd applauds) 45:13 - 45:15 What for? Please, no... 45:15 - 45:18 Please... No... 45:18 - 45:22 (♪ Band plays anthem) 45:22 - 45:50 I am very busy... please! 45:50 - 45:52 Perhaps if we gave away free tickets 45:52 - 45:55 to the youth organisation annual sacrifice, 45:55 - 46:23 all this could be avoided. It's a very real problem. 46:23 - 46:32 (Distant train whistle) 46:32 - 46:34 London. 46:34 - 46:36 Red. 46:36 - 46:37 Red? 46:37 - 46:40 They have to paint me red before they chop me. 46:40 - 46:42 It's a different religion from ours... l think 46:42 - 46:47 - So this is the famous ring, eh? - I'm in fear of my life, you know. 46:47 - 46:50 So this is the famous Beatles? 46:50 - 46:53 So this is the famous Scotland Yard? 46:53 - 46:55 How long do you think you'll last? 46:55 - 46:59 You can't say fairer than that. Great Train Robbery, how's that going? 46:59 - 47:03 - You don't believe us, do you? - (Phone rings) 47:03 - 47:06 - Chief Superintendent. - (Man) 'Ringo, please.' 47:06 - 47:09 - It's for you, the famous Ringo. - It's them. 47:09 - 47:12 - Only me and Paul know we're here. - I know. 47:12 - 47:18 Allow me. I'm a bit of a famous mimic. You know... James Cagney. 47:18 - 47:21 (Liverpool accent) Hello, this is the famous Ringo, 47:21 - 47:24 what is it that I can do for you? 47:24 - 47:26 Not a bit like Cagney. 47:26 - 47:30 - (Clang) 'Go to the window.' - Hey, it is them! 47:30 - 47:32 (Clang) 'Go to the window.' 47:32 - 47:35 Go to the window. 47:35 - 47:38 Go to the window. 47:38 - 47:41 Go to the window. 47:41 - 47:55 'Go to the window.' 47:55 - 47:59 There's a strong case for arming the police. We're not all masochists. 47:59 - 48:02 - Now see? - I believe you. Thousands wouldn't. 48:02 - 48:06 Right, lets get going. Pass me the phone, will you? 48:06 - 48:09 Lifeline of the service. Dial 999. 48:09 - 48:13 We need protection. We've got a record to do tomorrow. 48:13 - 48:15 - I need protection. - And you shall have it. 48:15 - 48:17 Get me protection. 48:17 - 48:20 (♪ THE BEATLES: "I Need You") 48:20 - 48:27 ♪ You don't realise how much I need you 48:27 - 48:34 ♪ Love you all the time and never leave you 48:34 - 48:38 ♪ Please come on back to me 48:38 - 48:41 ♪ I'm lonely as can be 48:41 - 48:45 ♪ I need you 48:45 - 48:52 ♪ Said you had a thing or two to tell me 48:52 - 48:59 ♪ How was I to know you would upset me 48:59 - 49:02 ♪ I didn't realise 49:02 - 49:06 ♪ As I looked in your eyes 49:06 - 49:09 ♪ You told me 49:09 - 49:11 ♪ Oh yes, you told me 49:11 - 49:16 ♪ You don't want my loving anymore 49:16 - 49:19 ♪ That's when it hurt me 49:19 - 49:26 ♪ And feeling like this I just can't go on anymore 49:26 - 49:33 ♪ Please remember how I feel about you 49:33 - 49:40 ♪ I could never really live without you 49:40 - 49:44 ♪ So come on back and see 49:44 - 49:47 ♪ Just what you mean to me 49:47 - 49:50 ♪ I need you 49:50 - 49:53 ♪ But when you told me 49:53 - 49:57 ♪ You don't want my loving anymore 49:57 - 50:00 ♪ That's when it hurt me 50:00 - 50:07 ♪ And feeling like this I just can't go on anymore 50:07 - 50:15 ♪ Please remember how I feel about you 50:15 - 50:21 ♪ I could never really live without you 50:21 - 50:25 ♪ So come on back and see 50:25 - 50:29 ♪ Just what you mean to me 50:29 - 50:32 ♪ I need you 50:32 - 50:36 ♪ I need you 50:36 - 50:59 ♪ I need you ♪ 50:59 - 51:03 Hello... Sunray to Set. Over. 51:03 - 51:07 (Over radio) 'Hello, Sunray. What are you doing down there? 51:07 - 51:08 Sunray all set. Over. 51:08 - 51:10 Sit-rep please. 51:10 - 51:20 It is done. We are directly under. Listen... 51:20 - 51:22 '♪ She's a woman who understands 51:22 - 51:24 '♪ She's a woman who loves her man... ♪' 51:24 - 51:26 Ugh! Shocking! 51:26 - 51:29 '♪ My love don't give me presents... ♪' 51:29 - 51:36 Roger, Ahme. Return to the base. I will complete the task. Out. 51:36 - 51:38 - (Yells) Brahna! - Saheb? 51:38 - 51:45 Take this hastily scribbled note hastily to acting Lance Corporal Bhuta. 51:45 - 51:48 Off! 51:48 - 52:07 (Engine revs) 52:07 - 52:10 - It says standing by. - (Yells) Stand by! 52:10 - 52:16 They shall not pass... 52:16 - 52:18 (♪ "She's A Woman" plays on tape machine) 52:18 - 52:22 '♪ She don't give boys the eye 52:22 - 52:28 '♪ She hates to see me cry... ♪' 52:28 - 52:33 ♪ We said our goodbyes, on the night before 52:33 - 52:39 ♪ Love was in your eyes, on the night before 52:39 - 52:42 ♪ Now today I find 52:42 - 52:45 ♪ You have changed your mind 52:45 - 52:50 ♪ Treat me like you did the night before 52:50 - 52:56 ♪ Were you telling lies, on the night before? 52:56 - 53:02 ♪ Was I so unwise, on the night before? 53:02 - 53:05 ♪ When I held you near 53:05 - 53:08 ♪ You were so sincere 53:08 - 53:13 ♪ Treat me like you did the night before 53:13 - 53:19 ♪ Last night is a night I will remember you by 53:19 - 53:25 ♪ When I think of things we did it makes me wanna cry 53:25 - 53:30 ♪ We said our goodbyes, on the night before 53:30 - 53:36 ♪ Love was in your eyes, on the night before 53:36 - 53:39 ♪ Now today I find 53:39 - 53:42 ♪ You have changed your mind 53:42 - 53:47 ♪ Treat me like you did the night before 53:47 - 53:53 ♪ Yes... ♪ 53:53 - 53:56 '♪ She's a woman who understands 53:56 - 53:59 '♪ She's a woman who loves her man 53:59 - 54:04 '♪ My love don't give me presents 54:04 - 54:08 '♪ I know that she's no peasant... ♪ 54:08 - 54:12 (Engine revs) 54:12 - 54:18 ♪ Last night is a night I will remember you by 54:18 - 54:23 ♪ When I think of things we did it makes me wanna cry 54:23 - 54:29 ♪ Were you telling lies, on the night before? 54:29 - 54:35 ♪ Was I so unwise, on the night before? 54:35 - 54:37 ♪ When I held you near 54:37 - 54:40 ♪ You were so sincere 54:40 - 54:45 ♪ Treat me like you did the night before 54:45 - 54:52 ♪ Yes... 54:52 - 54:54 ♪ When I held you near 54:54 - 54:58 ♪ You were so sincere 54:58 - 55:02 ♪ Treat me like you did the night before 55:02 - 55:10 ♪ Like the night before ♪ 55:10 - 55:19 - Hey! - We're being attacked! 55:19 - 55:25 (Gunfire) 55:25 - 55:31 (Man yells) Retreat! Retreat! 55:31 - 55:37 Come on! We're being fired at! Get out of here! 55:37 - 55:49 Come on! Retreat! 55:49 - 55:54 Run! 55:54 - 55:57 Quick! Faster! 55:57 - 56:06 Hey, mind the tank! 56:06 - 56:07 Get up, Johnny! 56:07 - 56:12 - Stop! - Johnny! Walk for me. You can do it! 56:12 - 56:35 In here! Quickly! Quick! 56:35 - 56:41 - Fire! - (Yells) Fire! 56:41 - 56:50 Fire! 56:50 - 56:53 Fire! 56:53 - 56:58 - Left! Steady on. 1-500. - 1-500. 56:58 - 57:01 I regret losing a lieutenant as able as Ahme 57:01 - 57:03 but she was told the price of capture. 57:03 - 57:06 - Enemy tank moving from left to right. - Loaded. 57:06 - 57:14 - Well, fire the nasty thing. - Firing now, Saheb 57:14 - 57:22 Missed! You naughty boys. 57:22 - 57:30 Turn us right. 57:30 - 57:38 Fire! 57:38 - 57:44 (♪ "1812 Overture" plays) 57:44 - 58:27 (Cheering) 58:27 - 58:35 There must be somewhere in England where one can find sanctuary to think. 58:35 - 58:38 How's your equilibrium, Ringo? 58:38 - 58:41 How's yours? You're light again, George. 58:41 - 58:45 - How do you know its not you. - Cos I never am, am I Paul? 58:45 - 58:48 Here, cop this, one hand! 58:48 - 58:51 - (John) Ugly, though. - The hands? 58:51 - 58:58 - Some people's are. - Show us your hand, Ringo. 58:58 - 59:00 - You want to chuck one in? - Get on! 59:00 - 59:03 - How about drumming, though? - It won't affect it. 59:03 - 59:07 I don't know many... 59:07 - 59:10 it appears I need one card. I'm chucking one in. 59:10 - 59:12 Very light-hearted. 59:12 - 59:15 - Discarding it. - Like an old boot. 59:15 - 59:17 They're talking about your finger, you know. 59:17 - 59:20 One card. Dealer takes one. 59:20 - 59:22 See, that didn't hurt. 59:22 - 59:26 - Will you hold this drumstick? - Manchester has a good drummer. 59:26 - 59:29 Well, I don't just drum with it, do I? 59:29 - 59:31 - What else then? - I use it, you know. 59:31 - 59:35 Quite a good-looking fellow, too. I'll raise you. 59:35 - 59:39 You haven't used that finger in the past hour and we're in danger. 59:39 - 59:42 Me and Paul haven't seen you use of that finger, have we? 59:42 - 59:44 - No. - And again. 59:44 - 59:49 We're risking our lives to preserve a useless member. 59:49 - 59:51 That bloke with Scott, 59:51 - 59:54 I've always admired the way he went into the snow for his mates. 59:54 - 59:59 - And again. - You're joking! 59:59 - 60:11 Just hold this drumstick. 60:11 - 60:14 You've raised it a little bundle on the quiet. 60:14 - 60:17 - It's like having a tooth out. - I've got a good hand. 60:17 - 60:20 You only lay out money is when you've got five aces. 60:20 - 60:23 - Do you want to see me? - You're joking... take it. 60:23 - 60:25 I will see... I've won it. 60:25 - 60:29 - Cut. - No! 60:29 - 60:31 I think tea, don't you? Tea. 60:31 - 60:34 They expect me to cut my finger off. 60:34 - 60:36 The famous finger, eh? 60:36 - 60:39 So the police are extended giving the famous protection, 60:39 - 60:45 for which we are justly proud in this country, for a finger, eh? 60:45 - 60:48 Whats that... It's haunted, you know. 60:48 - 60:52 - Are you going to cut? - No, I'm not and let that be an end to it. 60:52 - 60:54 End to it! 60:54 - 61:12 This wing of the palace is haunted. 61:12 - 61:14 We won't leave this palace alive. 61:14 - 61:18 The Queen will have something to say about that. 61:18 - 61:20 - Whats that? - I beg your pardon? 61:20 - 61:30 - That thing coming through his stomach. - I daren't look! 61:30 - 61:36 It's only a hose. 61:36 - 61:39 (Whistle blows softly) 61:39 - 61:48 - It's for you. - It's the gardener. 61:48 - 61:53 I'll stick it out the window. 61:53 - 61:56 (Marching feet) 61:56 - 62:01 (Man) Eyes left. 62:01 - 62:04 (Gas hisses) 62:04 - 62:10 (Man) Eyes front! 62:10 - 62:14 Must be their tea break. 62:14 - 62:17 Hands up! 62:17 - 62:19 Hands up! Quick! 62:19 - 62:22 Come on, lets have you. 62:22 - 62:27 Steady! 62:27 - 62:32 There goes my knighthood. You, left hand... 62:32 - 62:37 Lets have that ring. 62:37 - 62:52 (Gunshots) 62:52 - 62:56 It's me, you fool. 62:56 - 63:00 - Quick! Quick! - Lets catch him! 63:00 - 63:03 This should work, its from Harvard. 63:03 - 63:08 - It looks like a laser. - It's a relativity cadenza. 63:08 - 63:10 That should slow them down a bit. 63:10 - 63:14 There, point it down the hall. Quickly! 63:14 - 63:18 Hurry up with the plug, I'll align the sights... Yes! 63:18 - 63:20 Right, good. 63:20 - 63:22 I think it is a laser. 63:22 - 63:24 Oh! 63:24 - 63:28 (Sighs) Oh... 63:28 - 63:43 (Relativity cadenza whooshes) 63:43 - 63:44 A royal fuse has just blown. 63:44 - 63:47 (Cadenza stops) 63:47 - 64:04 - it is a rela... teva... camenza... - Bad machine! 64:04 - 64:05 (Cadenza starts) 64:05 - 64:10 Hair dryer, I'll bet she had one for Christmas. 64:10 - 64:11 (Whistling) 64:11 - 64:15 We are going for a friendly walk with the police down by the river. 64:15 - 64:18 Ooh, look at that. 64:18 - 64:28 - It's a band. - (Bagpipe music plays) 64:28 - 64:31 Paint! Paint! 64:31 - 64:35 (Yells) Come on, quickly! Get them, men. I'm with you. 64:35 - 64:39 After them! After them! Quick! 64:39 - 64:46 Look. 64:46 - 64:49 Oh, lovely pub. 64:49 - 64:59 Two lagers and lime and two lagers and lime, please. 64:59 - 65:06 - Looks like its me again. - Everything's relative, you know. 65:06 - 65:09 - Well, you didn't miss your tonsils. - How do you know? 65:09 - 65:11 Why don't you chop it off, Ringo? 65:11 - 65:15 Look John, I've had some great times with this finger. 65:15 - 65:17 How do you know I wouldn't miss it? 65:17 - 65:19 You're a rat underneath. 65:19 - 65:22 You can have a fire and theft policy. Five quid a week. 65:22 - 65:26 It's because you're a Beatle that your fingers wasn't on it. 65:26 - 65:29 - Is there a cure for nail biting? - (Paul) Oh, yes. 65:29 - 65:32 Oh, yes! 65:32 - 65:47 I'm always getting winked at these days. It used to be you, Paul. 65:47 - 65:48 Oh, Sorry Ringo. 65:48 - 66:22 Peep boo! 66:22 - 66:28 All the rungs have been neatly sawn in the middle. 66:28 - 66:30 Ah, the window! 66:30 - 66:35 (Roaring) 66:35 - 66:38 - Your famous Ringo is safe. - No, he isn't. 66:38 - 66:47 What? Cover all exits. Sharp lookout. 66:47 - 67:02 (Roaring) 67:02 - 67:06 (Bottle clinks) 67:06 - 67:14 - Don't move. - You heard what she said. 67:14 - 67:19 Do you know Beethoven's 9th symphony? 67:19 - 67:21 It goes like this... 67:21 - 67:24 (Whistles "Ode To Joy") 67:24 - 67:32 (Tiger roars) 67:32 - 67:37 - What? - This trap door. 67:37 - 67:40 Oh, here you are... 67:40 - 67:46 Permit me. 67:46 - 67:50 It's Raja, the famous Bengal man-eater who escaped from the zoo this morning. 67:50 - 67:53 - So it is! - Don't worry, he's harmless. 67:53 - 67:57 All you have to do is sing Beethoven's Ode to Joy from the 9th symphony. 67:57 - 68:02 - Why didn't you think of that? - Raja was reared on the classics. 68:02 - 68:07 (John) Don't worry, just whistle famous Beethoven's famous 9th symphony. 68:07 - 68:09 Come on! Come on! 68:09 - 68:11 (Sings "Ode To Joy" in German) 68:11 - 68:37 (Everybody sings) 68:37 - 68:45 (Chorus sings "Ode To Joy") 68:45 - 68:57 (Cheering) 68:57 - 68:59 Beep, beep! 68:59 - 69:01 Psst! 69:01 - 69:04 - (Ringo) Who let it out? - Nobody will know. 69:04 - 69:07 We're not going there. 69:07 - 69:11 - We just put it round we're going there. - We're not going there. 69:11 - 69:15 - We just put it round. - So everyone thinks we're going there? 69:15 - 69:17 - I'd like to go there. - You wouldn't like it. 69:17 - 69:33 - Where are we going? - Never you mind. 69:33 - 69:42 (Cameras click) 69:42 - 70:05 - You're welcome. - Goodbye, sir. 70:05 - 70:43 Him! 70:43 - 70:46 - Welcome to Nassau. - Thank you very much. 70:46 - 70:50 I'd like to present PC 17... 70:50 - 70:52 - PC 6... - Very smart. 70:52 - 70:55 - PC 47... - Uh-huh. 70:55 - 70:58 - PC 6 of 3... - Oh. 70:58 - 71:00 - PC 9... - Hmm. 71:00 - 71:03 - PC 85... - Mmm. 71:03 - 71:05 - PC 4... - Yes. 71:05 - 71:13 PC 21, PC 85... 71:13 - 71:16 You should have thought of that before you left the house. 71:16 - 71:20 Left... To shore... Port, starboard! 71:20 - 71:25 ♪ For I have got another girl 71:25 - 71:26 ♪ Another girl 71:26 - 71:32 ♪ You're making me say that I've got nobody but you 71:32 - 71:37 ♪ But as from today, well I've got somebody that's new 71:37 - 71:41 ♪ I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want 71:41 - 71:47 ♪ For I have got another girl 71:47 - 71:48 ♪ Another girl 71:48 - 71:53 ♪ She's sweeter than all the girls and I met quite a few 71:53 - 71:59 ♪ Nobody in all the world can do what she can do 71:59 - 72:03 ♪ And so I'm telling you this time you'd better stop 72:03 - 72:08 ♪ For I have got another girl 72:08 - 72:14 ♪ Another girl who will love me till the end 72:14 - 72:21 ♪ Through thick and thin she will always be my friend 72:21 - 72:26 ♪ I don't wanna say that I've been unhappy with you 72:26 - 72:31 ♪ But as from today, well I've seen somebody that's new 72:31 - 72:36 ♪ I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want 72:36 - 72:42 ♪ For I have got another girl 72:42 - 72:47 ♪ Another girl who will love me till the end 72:47 - 72:54 ♪ Through thick and thin she will always be my friend 72:54 - 73:00 ♪ I don't wanna say that I've been unhappy with you 73:00 - 73:05 ♪ But as from today, well I've seen somebody that's new 73:05 - 73:10 ♪ I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want 73:10 - 73:15 ♪ For I have got another girl 73:15 - 73:25 ♪ Another girl, another girl ♪ 73:25 - 73:32 - Lets play a game, eh? Beep-beeps. - OK. 73:32 - 73:35 Beep-beep, beep-beep! 73:35 - 73:38 (Hollering) 73:38 - 73:43 Oh, oh, oh! 73:43 - 73:47 Radar's broken! Never mind. 73:47 - 73:51 (Hollers) Beatles! Hello! 73:51 - 73:53 Port... Starboard... Over there! 73:53 - 73:57 Oh, oh, oh! 73:57 - 74:05 Ah! A-ha, a-ha, a-ha! 74:05 - 74:08 Open that rock! 74:08 - 74:10 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 74:10 - 74:13 - Is that it? - Better watch your fingers, Ringo! 74:13 - 74:17 Clang had the whole temple transported here for your sacrifice. 74:17 - 74:19 He needn't have bothered. Very nice of him, though. 74:19 - 74:23 - Whats this? - This is where you'll be disembowelled. 74:23 - 74:26 You don't go for all that, do you? 74:26 - 74:28 Keeps you busy, eh? 74:28 - 74:32 - Do you know where Clang is? - I'm his mother and he's a good boy. 74:32 - 74:33 (Hollering) 74:33 - 74:36 I don't want to knock anyone's religion, but... 74:36 - 74:41 - In here, quick. - (Ringo) I can't swim. 74:41 - 74:50 I'm not going! 74:50 - 75:10 Where have they gone? 75:10 - 75:12 - Lets go back and get them! - I'm game. 75:12 - 75:16 - Lets smash them! - Lets find that temple. 75:16 - 75:20 - A man's got to do what he's got to do. - I don't like running away. 75:20 - 75:23 - Lets go back and get them. - They'll disembowel us. 75:23 - 75:27 - Not if I get the boot in first. - Lets go back and get them. 75:27 - 75:46 They won't disembowel us, you see. That's all gab - disembowelling... 75:46 - 75:49 - Signpost. - Signpost. 75:49 - 75:52 - Guide book. - Guide book. 75:52 - 75:56 - Feet. - Feet? Oh, feet! 75:56 - 75:57 Red light. 75:57 - 76:00 Kaili! 76:00 - 76:12 - Green light, go! - (Yells) Kaili! 76:12 - 76:15 The things we have to do in these heathen countries. 76:15 - 76:29 There must be an easier way to set a trap! 76:29 - 76:34 - Easterner speaks with forked tongue. - What does he say? 76:34 - 76:37 Passing this way with hot foot to the temple. 76:37 - 76:40 Don't encourage him! You've got the part, Paul. 76:40 - 76:44 - Dare we ask how you know? - How! I saw those footprints... 76:44 - 76:47 And this guidebook. 76:47 - 77:03 - To the temple. - (Whistles) 77:03 - 77:21 After them... slowly! 77:21 - 77:25 - That's not it, is it? - It's on the map as being here. 77:25 - 77:30 That temple under the rock, that swimming pool that we came up in... 77:30 - 77:34 - I'm lost! - This isn't a temple, is it? 77:34 - 77:38 - So this is a famous temple? - Should be. It's gone. 77:38 - 77:41 I hope that disembowelling thingy has gone, too. 77:41 - 77:44 - Was there ever a temple here? - Never, sir. 77:44 - 77:49 Old army place. Well-known place of retreat for courting couples 77:49 - 77:51 who like the echoes of bugles as they court. 77:51 - 77:54 That's my theory. 77:54 - 77:56 Ugh! 77:56 - 77:58 - Aren't we going in? - No, lets not. 77:58 - 78:01 Oh, come on lads, where's that famous pluck? 78:01 - 78:04 - I haven't got any. Have you, George? - Did have. 78:04 - 78:08 - I have had. - I will have. 78:08 - 78:10 He's a bit soft that inspector, isn't he? 78:10 - 78:12 He never takes his hat off. 78:12 - 78:30 It's very hot over here for wearing a hat. 78:30 - 78:35 - I'm off. - Typical! 78:35 - 78:37 (Yells) Kaili! 78:37 - 78:39 Argh! 78:39 - 78:44 - Kaili! - Kaili! 78:44 - 78:46 (Electric buzz) 78:46 - 78:50 The fiends! They've electrified the wire with high tension. HT. 78:50 - 79:06 The fiends! 79:06 - 79:08 (Hollers) Help me! 79:08 - 79:10 Help! 79:10 - 79:12 He's mine! 79:12 - 79:15 Help! 79:15 - 79:42 Help me! 79:42 - 79:48 There's one on the back, but its not the right one. 79:48 - 79:54 Come here, boy! Let me explain. 79:54 - 80:00 This is no time for foolish tricks! This is a hired car. 80:00 - 80:03 Back up and smash him off. 80:03 - 80:07 (Algernon) Now, this will get him! 80:07 - 80:11 Oh! Never mind. Try again. 80:11 - 80:17 This should give him a headache. 80:17 - 80:20 Where's he gone? 80:20 - 80:23 - That's done it, he's gone. - I can't start the car. 80:23 - 80:26 - (Engine splutters) - Hello. 80:26 - 80:31 Oh, hello! Hang on a minute... 80:31 - 80:36 On, on! 80:36 - 80:38 I seem to be having a slight difficulty. 80:38 - 80:51 To the right! oh... 80:51 - 80:56 - I think it might be the wrong key. - On! 80:56 - 80:59 On! 80:59 - 81:04 (Engine starts) 81:04 - 81:20 (Algernon) Got it. Didn't take long, did it? 81:20 - 81:28 Thanks for the lift, sailor! 81:28 - 81:31 - Where did the thugs go? - They've vanished. 81:31 - 81:33 - He's got a plan. - Avery famous plan. 81:33 - 81:35 Superintendent, you've got a plan. 81:35 - 81:37 - Yes... - Superintendent. 81:37 - 83:21 I've got a plan. 83:21 - 83:23 (Hollers) Ringo! 83:23 - 83:25 Ringo! 83:25 - 83:28 - Ringo! - Ringo! 83:28 - 83:30 - Ringo! - Ringo! 83:30 - 83:32 Ringo! 83:32 - 83:34 (Dogs bark) 83:34 - 83:46 Ringo! 83:46 - 83:47 All right, talk! 83:47 - 83:55 We know he's a prisoner, but where? 83:55 - 83:57 - I'm a perfect surgeon. - Huh? 83:57 - 84:00 - I'm a perfect surgeon. - He was asked to take it up. 84:00 - 84:03 Alas... Scalpel. 84:03 - 84:12 Sca... 84:12 - 84:15 Sand in the generator. 84:15 - 84:18 It gets everywhere. No wonder I never get anything done. 84:18 - 84:21 Fix it, Algernon. 84:21 - 84:24 You wouldn't want me to go in with a blunt scalpel. 84:24 - 84:26 Fix it! 84:26 - 84:30 I'm a decent employer, but he takes advantage of me. 84:30 - 84:37 - It's the heat, it makes him stroppy. - Luckily. 84:37 - 84:40 I've got some juice. 84:40 - 84:44 (Ringo) I can't understand it. They kept pulling my nose. Mine of all noses! 84:44 - 84:48 - Whats that? - Distilled from the essence of orchids. 84:48 - 84:52 Hands up! 84:52 - 84:54 - Whats that? - Distilled from the essence... 84:54 - 84:59 Not distilled from the essence of orchids found only in certain recesses? 84:59 - 85:05 At last! I'll have my just reward. Give it to me! Sir Tberius Foot Juice! 85:05 - 85:08 - But the ring... - Who needs it now that I have this. 85:08 - 85:11 - Do you know what this is? - A Webley automatic... 85:11 - 85:15 It's Nobel Prize juice. Set sail for home, for England! A jewel set in the sea! 85:15 - 85:18 The government in the palm of my hand. Whats it say? 85:18 - 85:20 - You're going on a sea voyage... - No, this! 85:20 - 85:24 - (Algernon) I don't know. - Haven't you a degree in Eastern? 85:24 - 85:27 - (Algernon) I don't think so. - Lets get it translated. 85:27 - 85:33 - Now! - Right! 85:33 - 85:43 - I can't swim. - What do you mean you can't swim? 85:43 - 85:46 (Clang) Treacherous Woman, tremble... 85:46 - 85:49 In the name of Preverti, daughter of the mountains, 85:49 - 85:52 whose embrace with Rani made the whole world tremble. 85:52 - 85:55 - Wait till my mates get you. - I don't think so... 85:55 - 86:00 We've had two battalions flown in specially to ambush your friends. 86:00 - 86:02 They're quite merciless. 86:02 - 86:08 One word of warning from you and you die instantly. 86:08 - 86:11 Oh, mother Kaili, 86:11 - 86:13 whose name is the Terrible... 86:13 - 86:15 I'm going to miss the sacrifice. 86:15 - 86:18 (Clang) ...whose name is the inaccessible, 86:18 - 86:24 whose name is the Black Mother, mother of darkness! 86:24 - 86:25 We turn our hearts to... 86:25 - 86:27 (Ringo) No! 86:27 - 86:29 (Clang) ...drinker of blood... 86:29 - 86:32 - It's off! I'm saved! - ...killer of demons, 86:32 - 86:36 drink of this vessel, gorge on this blood, our offering... 86:36 - 86:40 Get sacrificed! I don't subscribe to your religion! 86:40 - 86:44 - There he is! - It just came off! 86:44 - 86:46 (Yells) Quickly! After them! 86:46 - 86:48 I'm going to miss the sacrifice. 86:48 - 86:52 - It came off! I just showed courage. - How many fingers you got left? 86:52 - 86:55 - You're all red again. - I'm beginning to like it. 86:55 - 86:59 Ah... So! Ha! 86:59 - 87:01 He who wears the ring... 87:01 - 87:04 ♪ Help! I need somebody 87:04 - 87:06 ♪ Help! Not just anybody 87:06 - 87:09 ♪ Help! You know I need someone 87:09 - 87:11 ♪ Help! 87:11 - 87:16 ♪ When I was younger, so much younger than today 87:16 - 87:21 ♪ I never needed anybody's help in anyway 87:21 - 87:27 ♪ But now these days are gone I'm not so self assured 87:27 - 87:31 ♪ Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the doors 87:31 - 87:36 ♪ Help me if you can I'm feeling down 87:36 - 87:41 ♪ And I do appreciate you being 'round 87:41 - 87:46 ♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground 87:46 - 87:52 ♪ Won't you please, please help me? 87:52 - 87:57 ♪ And now my life has changed in oh so many ways 87:57 - 88:02 ♪ My independence seems to vanish in the haze 88:02 - 88:07 ♪ But ev'ry now and then I feel so insecure 88:07 - 88:12 ♪ I know that I just need you like I've never done before 88:12 - 88:16 ♪ Help me if you can I'm feeling down 88:16 - 88:22 ♪ And I do appreciate you being 'round 88:22 - 88:27 ♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground 88:27 - 88:32 ♪ Won't you please, please help me? 88:32 - 88:38 ♪ When I was younger, so much younger than today 88:38 - 88:43 ♪ I never needed anybody's help in anyway 88:43 - 88:48 ♪ But now these days are gone I'm not so self assured 88:48 - 88:53 ♪ Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the doors 88:53 - 88:57 ♪ Help me if you can I'm feeling down 88:57 - 89:03 ♪ And I do appreciate you being 'round 89:03 - 89:07 ♪ Help me get my feet back on the ground 89:07 - 89:11 ♪ Won't you please, please help me? 89:11 - 89:14 ♪ Help me, help me 89:14 - 89:21 ♪ Ooh ♪