Mental Floss

All deserters will be shot At five o'clock tomorrow morning So get yourselves together And quit messing around No more nonsense! The assassination occurred at three thirty No one was there to witness it Even the breviaries had left their tapestries on the window And we were all silenced By the sad mildew cloud That followed around I wish I was back in the land of the... Of the... Aaahm uhm... You can't pin that one on me I didn't do a goddamn thing I was just standing there Then a bunch of guys came up And started laying all this shit on me Now what am I supposed to do? I'm an American! You can't touch me! Did you know all nuns are 42? And their eyes are blue? Did you know all table clothes Are white in France? Did you know women wear underpants? Well, they do! How does a musician imitate The sound of underpants sliding Over a woman's thighs Down over her ankles And over her little toes? And the rings on her toes? And her unclipped toe nails? Lightning struck the magic purse I didn't do a damn thing, man! I was just standing there In front of the delicatessen And all these rabbis ran up And a bunch of Indians and freaks And monsters and f.... just started ... Mhmh... talking in all these weird languages... What aah ... what ... could I say? Hey, I'm tired of being a freaky musician I wanna be Napoleon! Let's have some more wars around here! What a stinking, shitty little war we have running over there Let's get a big one! A real big one! With a lotta killings and bombs and blood! Schooldays... Schooldays... Good old-fashioned rule days... Schooldays... Schooldays... Good old-fashioned rule days...