Freak

It’s a hundred pounds an hour Or two hundred for the day I’ll take cash or credit card I don’t mind how you pay It’s a funny kind of business When you’re in demand A social man or policeman Would never understand Started back in oh-six When I was down and out Not a conjure up together Left in no doubt I looked at the computer And I had to make the choice One was cleaning toilets And the other needed boys Now I’m a freak I get my money through love And I’m a freak But it hurts me so much I’m living by the hour Sometimes by the day Always gets me outta bed And never goes away Here’s another pensioner Who’s hornier than most Got a little cottage Just on the coast But we’ve gotta be so quick Before her husband gets home He might be old and grey But he’s as hard as a stone The act of love was simple But the end felt like death Then she started talkin’ I could smell her breath Oh my stomach went all queasy And I started to balk I took my readied payments And I walked out the door Cus I’m a freak I get my money through love And I’m a freak But it hurts me so much I’m living by the hour Sometimes by the day Always gets me outta bed And never goes away All my friends laugh And they talk behind my back I’m thinking I’m on top But inside my soul just rots I’ll pack it in some day Save some money and move away Cus life as a gigolo It’s all gonna have to go All gonna have to go Spinning down my spine It gives me the creeps Pay me now, not later Cus I’ve gotta leave Got a forty year old woman Who’s six foot four All the kids go crazy When they see me at the door It all gets sorted out And she gives them a clout Strips off in the bedroom Shows me what it’s about I try and try all day Tryin’ all day long I try and try again Until the money’s all gone Cus I’m a freak I get my money through love And I’m a freak But it hurts me so much I’m living by the hour Sometimes by the day Always gets me outta bed And never goes away