Freak

It’s a hundred pounds an hour

Or two hundred for the day

I’ll take cash or credit card

I don’t mind how you pay

It’s a funny kind of business

When you’re in demand

A social man or policeman

Would never understand

Started back in oh-six

When I was down and out

Not a conjure up together

Left in no doubt

I looked at the computer

And I had to make the choice

One was cleaning toilets

And the other needed boys

Now I’m a freak

I get my money through love

And I’m a freak

But it hurts me so much

I’m living by the hour

Sometimes by the day

Always gets me outta bed

And never goes away

Here’s another pensioner

Who’s hornier than most

Got a little cottage

Just on the coast

But we’ve gotta be so quick

Before her husband gets home

He might be old and grey

But he’s as hard as a stone

The act of love was simple

But the end felt like death

Then she started talkin’

I could smell her breath

Oh my stomach went all queasy

And I started to balk

I took my readied payments

And I walked out the door

Cus I’m a freak

I get my money through love

And I’m a freak

But it hurts me so much

I’m living by the hour

Sometimes by the day

Always gets me outta bed

And never goes away

All my friends laugh

And they talk behind my back

I’m thinking I’m on top

But inside my soul just rots

I’ll pack it in some day

Save some money and move away

Cus life as a gigolo

It’s all gonna have to go

All gonna have to go

Spinning down my spine

It gives me the creeps

Pay me now, not later

Cus I’ve gotta leave

Got a forty year old woman

Who’s six foot four

All the kids go crazy

When they see me at the door

It all gets sorted out

And she gives them a clout

Strips off in the bedroom

Shows me what it’s about

I try and try all day

Tryin’ all day long

I try and try again

Until the money’s all gone

Cus I’m a freak

I get my money through love

And I’m a freak

But it hurts me so much

I’m living by the hour

Sometimes by the day

Always gets me outta bed

And never goes away