Statistician's Blues

[Verse 1] They say three percent of people Use five to six percent of their brain Ninety-seven percent use just three percent And the rest goes down the drain I'll never know which one I am But I'll bet you my last dime Ninety-nine percent think we're three percent One-hundred percent of the time [Verse 2] They say sixty-five percent of all statistics Are made up right there on the spot Eighty-two-point-four percent of people believe 'em Whether they're accurate statistics or not Now, I don't know what you believe But I do know there's no doubt I need another double-shot of something ninety-proof I got too much to think about [Chorus] Too much to think about Too much to figure out Stuck between hope and doubt Too much to think about, uh-huh [Verse 3] They say seventy-four percent of everything you learn in college Is a bunch a bullshit you'll never need Eighty-three-point-four percent of everything you got You bought to satisfy your greed Because ninety-one percent of the world's population Links possessions to success Even though eighty-eight percent of the wealthiest one percent Of the population drinks to an alarming excess More money, more stress [Chorus] It's too much to think about Too much to figure out Stuck between hope and doubt It's too much to think about Pick it now [Verse 4] They say seventy-four percent of all statisticians Truly hate their fucking jobs The average bank robber lives within, say About twenty miles of the bank that he robs There's this little bank not far from here That I've been watching now a while Seems like lately alls I can think about's How bad I wanna go out in style [Chorus] It's too much to think about Too much to figure out Stuck between hope and doubt It's too much to think about, hey hey It's too much to think about, amen It's too much to think about