Statistician's Blues

[Verse 1]

They say three percent of people

Use five to six percent of their brain

Ninety-seven percent use just three percent

And the rest goes down the drain

I'll never know which one I am

But I'll bet you my last dime

Ninety-nine percent think we're three percent

One-hundred percent of the time

[Verse 2]

They say sixty-five percent of all statistics

Are made up right there on the spot

Eighty-two-point-four percent of people believe 'em

Whether they're accurate statistics or not

Now, I don't know what you believe

But I do know there's no doubt

I need another double-shot of something ninety-proof

I got too much to think about

[Chorus]

Too much to think about

Too much to figure out

Stuck between hope and doubt

Too much to think about, uh-huh

[Verse 3]

They say seventy-four percent of everything you learn in college

Is a bunch a bullshit you'll never need

Eighty-three-point-four percent of everything you got

You bought to satisfy your greed

Because ninety-one percent of the world's population

Links possessions to success

Even though eighty-eight percent of the wealthiest one percent

Of the population drinks to an alarming excess

More money, more stress

[Chorus]

It's too much to think about

Too much to figure out

Stuck between hope and doubt

It's too much to think about

Pick it now

[Verse 4]

They say seventy-four percent of all statisticians

Truly hate their fucking jobs

The average bank robber lives within, say

About twenty miles of the bank that he robs

There's this little bank not far from here

That I've been watching now a while

Seems like lately alls I can think about's

How bad I wanna go out in style

[Chorus]

It's too much to think about

Too much to figure out

Stuck between hope and doubt

It's too much to think about, hey hey

It's too much to think about, amen

It's too much to think about