Haha, oh my God...
Listen, I think I can hear it
Mac Lethal is hypin' himself in the mirror
His wife tries to tell him that she's gettin' curious
He just yells, "Shut the fuck up, bitch, this Tom guy's serious!"
I hoped you would kill it, I'm always a optimist
Thought your response would be flawless and awesome
It's gotta be hard finding time to perfect
All your rhymes every night at Narcotics Anonymous
Hi Dave, hi Dave, hi Dave! I'm not even trying
You don't scare me at all, if you did a drive-by, I'd wave!
It's so cute when you rap, it's like I'm watching my dad
Tryna use an iPad, you should just give it back
You've been sober like eight years
You the type of guy who can't have a beer
Have a single drink and need to get some coke
And probably suck a dick for a painkiller
You party animal, you bad boy
You're a crazy son of a gun
All that karate and still you're a pussy?
You tap on my shoulder and run?
Where are you going? I'm over here
In a house that you can't afford with your career
Got your own pool? Kids in private school?
You the fuckin' mother of the year
You keep talking millions, I Googled your wealth
You are worth two, Dave, I am worth twelve
You're tweeting at YouTube, "Somebody help
With my monetized videos!" Dave that's a tell
Broke and ugly, short and stubby, forty somethin'
With a face that was born for punchin'
Act tough but I know at your core it's muffins
The type to wife up the first whore who fucked him
Big bad Dave got that Ellen co-sign
Cool
Tried to ride that wave to the Hollywood sign
Fool
You were so excited just to get invited
Teeth professionally whitened couldn't cheese enough
You said, "I love rap because it's counter-culture!"
Dave, counter-culture is who beats you up
My future has Grammies
Your future is handies from Tammy
Imagining baddies in nasty pajammies
And transplanting hair to your head from your fanny
I saw you doing teeth commercials
You a actor Dave, I don't need rehearsals
I'll piss in your mouth 'til you wheeze and gurgle
And stomp on your head 'til your cheeks are purple
I was a wrestler, I wore spandex
You were a customer, you did Xanax
I'll take you and your bitch by the ear
And then smash you together like Stone Cold's beer
Being a fucking loser's in your DNA
This ain't a punchline, it's a PSA
The chromosomes from your ma and pa
Create retards and they name 'em Dave
Nobody's safe, the wife need to chain up her legs,
Remove all her eggs,
Put 'em in bags and lock them away
In a safe and send it away on a plane
I'm lucky that I know CPR
My girl heard your diss and she died laughing
She was bummed, we waited like a week
And then she went right back into Minecrafting
My girl was on Def Jam
Your girl looks like Death, fam
She the Grim Reaper, knew I'd spit ether
She collecting the soul of a dead dad
They're gonna need a whole family of coffins
When you Chris Benoit 'em to solve all your problems
The shame and embarrassment, all of the comments
From fans you had, I saw it, you lost 'em
Ain't dropped a album in four years, dog, rapping is your hobby
My career, less than a year, 20,000 physical copies
I have millions of streams, I'm living your dream
You're a glorified YouTuber, look like a meme
Go to stupid extremes, the definition of try-hard
Watch me rap after eating a Tide-Pod
Dying for attention, that's why you started this little beef
You're so desperate,
Expect that right after this ends your sex tape probably leak
You've been on Ellen and Rogan, why aren't you a star?
Here, let me tell you, it isn't the bars
It's the way that you look, it's the way that you are
Nobody cares about your music no more
Dog, you do impressions,
You rap in 20 styles and you think it's flexing
I got a question,
Why you gotta pretend to be everyone else to resemble impressive?
I killed you already, this don't need a sequel
I'm honestly bored with this shit
Feels like I'm kicking a corpse with shoes you can't afford
Feel horrible doing you like this
How many rappers wrote your response?
Come on, Dave, give 'em credit
I know you sent texts, I saw with my eyes
I know what you said, Dave, I read it
You a real piece of shit
Nah, like a real piece of shit
Like if a piece of shit ate a piece of shit, and took a pee and shit
You're that piece of shit
I'm on like five minutes, shit, lemme see
You were canceled and fired from MTV
The network wanted something fresh and clean
I bet any day they'll be calling me
You left Rhymesayers because you had to
You didn't walk away, it wasn't something you planned, dude
Got lost in the drugs and the whirlwind
Caught pants down with another man's girlfriend
Piece of shit
Nah, like a real piece of shit
Like if a piece of shit fucked a piece of shit and got an STD
You're that piece of shit
You got a pet bird, bet you never thought you'd be dead first
I'ma put you both in the oven when you get burned
I'ma put you both in a pet urn
Piss into the bottle, mix it up, and turn the ash into plaster
Give it to your bitch
Tell her "make statues of me just to capture my wind."
My girl would just spit in her face and we'll dip
Get a hammer and come back and smash it to bits
Put a plaque in its place so that no one forgets
That your biggest mistake was as good as it gets
For a guy whose career doesn't even exist
It's the peak of the mountain for you, this is it
Your aesthetic is pathetic, you don't get it, I'm prophetic
Your rap ethics are boring, fuck it, Guinness World Record
Be careful where you are headed, I'm cemented as a legend
David Sheldon severed out his head and you be the evidence
Every room that you ever enter I will always be the elephant
While you try to fit this cap into Ellen for development
You deader than Lenin, I sent a letter to Heaven
That explodes when I open, I hope it gets your attention
I can smell it, you sweating, and it's 11:11
I make a wish that when you die you come back resurrected
So I can kill you again and again and again
For the record,
If you're feeling kind of froggy and you jump you get dissected
Oh dear, I can't believe that I had to set this shit straight, man
Old ears, I hope you hear exactly what I say, man
I'm here, you said you didn't even know my name, dog
So here, I'll say it so you don't forget again
It's Tom MacDonald, bitch
