Gary's II

[Verse 1] Went for a drink at the bar down the road Watching horses and betting your clothes You head out the door then to go for a smoke It hit on the way out and stubbed you your toe A guy rounds the corner in a fisherman's hat and he Hits ya in the face with a baseball bat [Verse 2] He took one look at you after he stopped to laugh And he noticed he mistook you got hit on behalf Of some bastard from the bar who had slept with his wife You said, "I never seen you in my God given life" You stood up and brushed off and felt for your mouth And your teeth had leapt from you so you spit 'em all out You took up your pride and you took up the bat And you went for that shithead, took out his knee caps [Verse 3] You went to the dentist and he winced at your gums And he said that false teeth were your only option You said, "Go ahead man just take out the rest Even the good ones are doomed, I'm tired of them" The dentist took pause but said, "Seems fine to me" And that's how you got dentures at age thirty-three [Verse 4] You told me this story as you stood by your truck I said "Gary, man, you have the worst of all luck I always did wonder how your teeth stayed so nice When the only thing you drink is Pepsi"