Many Happy Returns

When I accepted this job

I was resigned to my fate

When I got there early

She'd arrive late

You can say she's gone forever

Or just sit tight and wait

She said I was unprincipled

That I was not the first

Like the phoenix coming back

From the ashes, uh-huh

I know what's good

But I know what trash is

In the headlights

In the highlights of her hair

Hit the headlines

But she's not there

Many happy returns

Many happy returns

These are the lessons I could have learned

Return, many happy returns

And these are the letters I should have burned

Okay, I'm sad, not blue

Okay, remember

All that matters to me now

Is the message I sent her

Like the world spinning around

On its axis, uh-huh

I know democracy

But I know what's fascist

When she's gone, all I've got to learn

Is the law of diminishing return

When she's here, one thing I've found

Things get better second time around

Many happy returns

Many happy returns

These are the lessons I could have learned

Return, many happy returns

And these are the letters I should have burned

Okay I'm sad, not blue

Okay, remember

All that matters to me now

Is the message I sent her

Now she's gone, she's gone away

Now she's gone, forget her

Coming back another day

If you'd only let her

Now she's gone, she's gone away

But she's gone, forget her

Coming back no other day

So why resurrect her

Many happy returns

Many happy returns

These are the lessons I should have learned

Return, many happy returns

And these are the letters I should have burned