Holy Smokes

[Intro: Various Samples]

[Give him one of these pills if he has any pain]

[A parable....What is it? Well it's a little story with a lot of truth

An earthly story with a heavenly meaning

Jesus told many parables to grown-ups and children alike

He told them simply and sincerely, in words everyone could understand

So that all might learn the lesson he was trying to teach...]

[Yeah!]

[Verse Intro: Aesop Rock]

They were selfish with the helmets on the little bus

'Till brake fluid sewage crippled up the get-retorted nickel punks

Slowly cope but swore his lowly robot vole evoke

Would one day rise in sections to interrogate the Holy Ghost

[I knew it!]

[Verse: Aesop Rock]

Holy smokes!

Father, black suit white collar

Kiddie porn dungeon, guns, and three fingers for your daughter's

Caught belly-up, antique Nazi paraphernalia

You cannot pay your bills with holy water and Hail Mary luck [Oh my!]

Shucks fucker, enjoy the Alcatraz shower fun

And mommy's mad I'm cliche generation X agnostic front

It ain't the nifty fate, the 1958, before the New-New Testament-approved Altar-boy fisting rape

And "take me to your leader"

Long as he don't manipulate toddler beaver [Leave him alone!]

Call me crazy, but I bet that wasn't God's demeanor

Sodom-meter peaking [Me too!]

But Long Island was Jesus every weekend

Spoon-fed to appease traditional upbringing

Of a Middle Pennsylvania shit-hole where elders movement

Stressed the stellar therapeutic Bible cycle (How?)

One church with a bait and tackle store next door and not much MORE

So the two moved to New York, made babies raised on what they'd SAW

Christmas morning smelled fresher than angel pussy

But immaculate conception came second to playful goodies

Like laser-tag was way more spiritual than blood and body wafer bags

And manger staff as long as Santa ate the cookies [Well...]

Grandma was a saint, while he'd paint with snakes and bullies

Said If only you'd memorized your prayers like you did your Kool Gs!

By the time I was old enough to know what religion was

I was Catholicism-numb and truly didn't give a [FUCK!]

'94: Moved out the crib and ain't seen a steeple since

What Knievel-evil seeps in a Christian leader's pitch

'Till priests' laps slapped with parental advisory warnings

I'll be auditioning Gods in my office on Monday morning

[Hook: Various Samples & Aesop Rock]

[Yeah!] {Scratched throughout chorus}

Uh oh! And yet another pill slipped

Down the hatch and pass 'em through the kill-switch

[Yeah!] {Scratched throughout chorus}

I need a couple A's for Q's

I'm not an asshole I'm just a little confused

[Interlude: Sampled]

[This story reminds us of the one Jesus told about people who were kind and

Helpful to others. He said that one day the king would say to these people:

'Come. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you. For when I was hungry you gave me food. When I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me.'

But the people asked, when Lord did we see you hungry and feed you?

Or sick or in prison and come to you? and the king answered:

'In as much as you have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren

You have done it unto me.']

[Yeah!]

[Hook: Aesop Rock]

Just a little bruise in the back of the pews

Acting amused with a mask and them Vatican blues

For in the eyes of the organization I was raised in

Aes' is just another sinning brick in Hell's basement

Cubicle adjacent to the killers and rapists

For what? Drugs and fucking, It's part of growing up

Like cuffs over dumb shits is better than the schools

I'm not an asshole I'm just a little confused

Just a lit fuse in the back of the pews

Watching a thousand flavors of the same God feud

I figure ultimate-peace is the common theme

So its a no-brainer "peace" when the blood hit the screen

Got a basic good and evil sensibility born

Good neighbor know a halo wouldn't fit over horns

I'm more science than faith, I'm more karma than bread and booze

I'm not an asshole I'm just a little confused

Not an asshole I'm just a little confused

Not an asshole I'm just a little confused

Not an asshole I'm just a little confused

(You know what? To be completely honest, Aesop, you're a fucking asshole)