Can't Stand the Mourning

I know death and taxes, they can't be outrun
I thought I'd have more time before the race begun
Lost my father at twenty, and I lost you last week
How can I cope? I still haven't found me
I've tried different religions and psychic hotlines
Must be some way to hear your laugh one more time
So I self medicate to stay comfortably numb
Knowing sooner or later, yeah, my day will come

I need chemicals to sleep to see you in my dreams
If I take enough, maybe one day we'll speak
Oh, when I wake back up, you won't be there to talk
These photos and voicemails of you aren't enough
Let me close my eyes 'cause I can't stand the mourning
Let me close my eyes 'cause I can't stand the mourning

All my friends and my therapist tell me, "Stay strong"
But I haven't hit the gym in well, God knows how long
All my smiles and my tattoos, they're doing their part
They're all putting me in overtime to cover my scars
Can't pretend that it's still the best day of my life
When I tell you the truth, you say it's all a lie
So I'll pour one out and pour my heart into a drink
'Cause I'd rather pay for whiskey than a mid-level shrink

I need chemicals to sleep so I'll see you in my dreams
If I take enough, maybe one day we'll speak
Oh, when I wake back up, you won't be there to talk
These photos and voicemails of you aren't enough
Let me close my eyes 'cause I can't stand the mourning
Let me close my eyes 'cause I can't stand the mourning