66th Street

Hi, can I help you?

[Verse 1]

I think it was a Sunday, sometime in January

I could be wrong and I guess it isn't necessary

But I remember that the ground was made of snow

And if you went outside, you better take your coat

I must have been nineteen years old

I had a cashier job at a convenience store

Working the counter making minimum dough

Selling discount smokes to the neighbourhood folk

I didn't pay much thought to his ski mask

It's Minnesota man, your face will freeze fast

But I bet that I looked sorta dumb

When I first caught sight of his bright orange gun

There I am, adrenaline high and

Tryin to decide how I feel about his right hand

Is that a goddamn? Wait a minute

It is a flare gun and guess where he's aiming it

"You probably ain't here to win the lottery" ("nope")

"So you obviously gotta be robbin me"

He nodded his head so opened up the till

And grabbed a paper bag for the money cause I know the drill

I handed him the cash and the food stamps

He just stood there looking all confused and

I'm thinking "Yo, why the fuck ain't he movin?"

C'mon crazy white boy, don't do somethin stupid

That bag is worth maybe two-thirty

Not enough for you to pull the trigger back and burn me

By now you should be down the street

Ain't you never seen the way they do this shit on TV?

Yeah it was fun but it's done, now get out

"Ah, do you want me lay down on the ground and start countin crops?"

Before the ski way even started noddin

I was already on that, one one-thousand, two one-thousand

The front door beeped, I heard him leave

So I called my boss and the Richfield police

Gotta close the shop and lock the doors

Cause some trailer trash just robbed the store

Slug: Uh.. I don’t know. Maybe 5”10?

Officer: What was he wearing?

Slug: Skinny, flannel shirt… a ski mask, yeah

Officer: How much money?

Slug: 230, maybe 250 dollars?

Officer: You said that he robbed you with a flare gun?

Slug: Yeah, yeah it was a flare gun

Officer: like a.. a…

Slug: Yeah it was a fucking flare gun

Officer: Like when your car breaks down?

Slug: Dog, it was a fucking flare gun… c’mon…

Officers laughing

Slug: Why you laughing, no body pointed a flare gun at you, motherfucker

[Verse 2]

Everybody acted so suspicious

I guess the flare gun story seemed fictitious

Are you accusing me of petty embezzlement?

Don't you see my left over adrenaline?

Bosses and cops can't be my friend

Never felt loyalty to either again

And to keep it real, the irony didn't set

Until a year later when I got fired for stealing cigarettes