Bar Food

[Intro]

Do you guys have veggie burgers ?

Yeah, can I get one of those ?

Can you put bacon on it for me ?

[Verse 1]

Once upon a time, one night next week

I hit the five-eight to get a bite to eat

I went inside, nobody here

But a couple guys at the bar holding beers

I sat down in the booth

I'll take a glass of grapefruit juice

Checking the selections

But I didn't get further than the mushroom Swiss burger

They said meat is murder, but I eat it

If it wasn't illegal, I'd eat people

As long as he used to walk

I'll take him with a side of the tater tots

I don't dine out a lot

I don't spend time out in general pop

And if I wasn't all alone at the spot

I'd probably order it to go in a styrofoam box

She brought me my sandwich

It came in a plastic basket

It's poison for my health

So you know I'm enjoying myself

But all of a sudden

The bar filled up with a herd of suburban bumpkins

No more personal space

Wish that they would all burst into flames

That's when I decided to get my revenge

I quietly got up, locked the doors

Went into the kitchen and popped the drawers

Grabbed any knife in sight

Tonight everybody getting sacrificed, aight?

The whole south side heard them scream

Sent them to hell, felt like a dream

It was a gruesome bloodbath

Stabbed everyone, including the pub staff

Then I sparked a grill and went to town

Fried 'em all up and chowed 'em all down

After the feast, peace

Went home and fell asleep

Now I feel guilty, so in front of all of you

I'm ready to admit that I'm addicted to bar food

[Outro]

Mhmm, this is a tasty burger