funeral

Show up or don’t
I’m gonna set your plate and I won’t eat a bite
No I’ll starve
In the dark and alone
Dreaming of sharing your breath
Blowing parliament smoke at the floor
You took a flight to the ocean
And I took a drive with him but it wasn’t right
I tried to hide in the open
But you declined
To even try to find me
Now in everything
And everyone
I scream your name
And imagine what we could have been
Now it’s been a year
And I’ve had enough
If I see you again
I’m handing you Yellow chrysanthemums
And rosaries,
I want you home with me
I miss you totally
I cry in my tweety pajama pants and
Honestly,
I know you’re haunting me
I thought you wanted me,
I hope I see you at my funeral
Pacing around
Tryna forget your cigarette kisses on the crown of my head
I tried to stay down but
I felt abandoned, beads on your hand in my nightmares
Is it my fault that I wanna move on?
When you told me that I’m not what you want,
And you came back only for a minute
With a burnt out vape and a dumb explanation.
And I do coke anymore
If I did it would just take me back and remind me.
Of the love that I couldn’t give you
But demanded you give me and now I’m stuck in
everything
And everyone
I scream your name
And imagine what we could have been
Now it’s been a year
And I’ve had enough
If I see you again
I’m handing you Yellow chrysanthemums
And rosaries,
I want you home with me
I miss you totally
I cry in my tweety pajama pants and
Honestly,
I know you’re haunting me
I thought you wanted me,
I hope I see you at my funeral