I Shall Be Free No. 10

[Verse 1]

I’m just average, common too

I’m just like him, and the same as you

I’m everybody’s brother and son

I ain't different than anyone

Ain't no use a-talk to me

It’s just the same as talkin' to you

[Verse 2]

I was shadow boxing early in the day

I figured I was ready for Cassius Clay

I said “Fee, fie, fo, fum, Cassius Clay, here I come

26, 27, 28, 29, I’m gonna' make your face look just like mine

Five, four, three, two, one, Cassius Clay you’d better run

99, 100, 101, 102, your ma won’t even recognize you

14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, gonna knock him clean right out of his spleen”

[Verse 3]

Well, I don’t know, but I’ve been told

The streets of heaven are lined with gold

I ask ya' how things could get much worse

If the Russians happen to get up there first

Wowee! Pretty scary!

[Verse 4]

Now, I’m liberal, but to a degree

I want everybody to be free

But if you think I’ll let Barry Goldwater

Move in next door and marry my daughter

You must think I’m crazy!

I wouldn’t let him do it for all the farms in Cuba

[Verse 5]

Well, I set my monkey on the log

And ordered him to do the Dog

He wagged his tail and shook his head

And he went and did the Cat instead

He’s a weird monkey, very funky

[Verse 6]

I sat with my high-heeled sneakers on

Waitin' to play tennis in the noonday sun

I had my white shorts rolled up past my waist

And my wig-hat was fallin' in my face

But they wouldn’t let me on the tennis court

[Verse 7]

I got a woman, she’s so mean

She sticks my boots in the washing machine

Sticks me with buckshot when I’m nude

Puts bubblegum in my food

She’s funny, wants my money, calls me “honey”

[Verse 8]

Now I got a friend who spends his life

Stabbin' my picture with a Bowie knife

Dreams of stranglin' me with a scarf

When my name comes up he pretends to barf

I got a million friends!

[Verse 9]

Now they asked me to read a poem

At the sorority sisters home

Ah got knocked down and my head was swimmin'

I wound up with the Dean of Women

Yippee! I’m a poet, I know it

Hope I don’t blow it

[Verse 10]

I’m gonna grow my hair down to my feet so strange

So I look like a walking mountain range

And I’m gonna' ride into Omaha on a horse

Out to the country club and the golf course

Carryin' The New York Times

Shoot a few holes, blow their minds

[Verse 11]

Now you’re probably wonderin' by now

Just what this song is all about

What’s probably got you baffled more

Is what this thing here is for:

[Plays song's riff]

It’s nothin'

It’s sumpin' I learned over in England!