Trauma

Growin' up I never had a lot of money
I never had a phone, always was a little hungry
Used to find it hard to sleep when I could hear my mother sobbing
I was ten back then
I didn't have a room, had to buy used shoes
I hid behind tunes to avoid abuse
And every time I fell I would blame it on myself
Even if it was an accident

Maybe it's not what I want
Oh, I've seen better days, and the moment fucking sucks
But I'll be damned if I don't stop
And honestly, why not when nobody gives a fuck?

But sometimes I just can't help myself
I want to give up trying and start doing something else
Sometimes I just get overwhelmed
I know it's in my mind but I think I need some help
'Cause sometimes I just can't help myself

I was an outcast
Thrown out to dry and get laughed at
Too shy to talk about home
I always thought life was supposed to be cold
Oh, I've been so lost without hope
I got a window in my head, it's a casket
You know I be wishing I was dead, but I mask it

Maybe it's not what I want
Oh I've seen better days, and the moment fucking sucks
But I'll be damned if I don't stop
And honestly why not when nobody gives a fuck?

But sometimes I just can't help myself
I want to give up trying and start doing something else
Sometimes I just get overwhelmed
I know it's in my mind but I think I need some help

Because it's all I know
My hand's around my throat
Pray that I won't let go this time around
But every single time I try to shut my eyes
I see the reason why I'm not alone

Sometimes I just can't
But sometimes I just can't help myself
I want to give up trying and start doing something else
Sometimes I just get overwhelmed
I know it's in my mind but I think I need some help
Sometimes I just can't help myself