Don't Know Anymore (Trapstar Version)

[Intro: Lily Kaplan]

'Cause we're in your drop-top, and it's hard, and I'm feelin' you

I calmed down, turned around, you put me in a mood

Old house, windows down, but I'm still feelin' you

Years passed, nothing changed, I'm still in love with you

I don't need nobody else, I just want you to myself, oh no

Mm

[Verse: Central Cee]

To get to my current position, I done more than ten thousand hours

Dreamt that I saw my name on a gravestone, maybe then they would give me my flowers

Mum put three of her boys in the tub same time cah we couldn't afford to shower

Before man snaked me, I already saw it comin', I saw they was sour

But now it's my time to experience fame, the opps tryna find out where am I stayin'

My girl don't believe anything I'm sayin', my family need anything, I'm payin'

Sat down, tellin' a therapist stories, I know she ain't gonna relate

What's this? What's that? I don't care to explain, I'll deal with the grief and bearin' the pain

I don't paint these girls in a positive way, you can tell that my heart's been broken before

Tryna heal, but it's takin' time, what's the point in life? I don't know anymore

Tell the young boys, "Stay in school", but I wouldn't be here if I followed the law

I keep makin' dumb decisions like I don't have control of my thoughts

The guys wouldn't know that I'm feelin' like this 'cause I conceal and hide it

Everyone's there on the weekend vibin', nobody's there when I need consignment

I heard the quote that the strong survive, but I still got a fear of us dyin'

Some nights still toss and turn in my sleep cah I seen some serious violence

I was six years old when Dad left home and they shot my granddad, all of that at once

My lil' bro's still going to school, but he wanna do everything that the gang does

Now he's repeatin' the cycle cah he's outside and he wanna go act up

Got sick of the carton milk, it was free school meals, we never had pack lunch

Cuttin' the mould of the loaf of bread and I looked in the fridge and the milk expired

All of the mandem jumped in the trap cah we put on The Wire and got inspired

Not surprised when I see man lyin', it's fine, I already clocked they're liars

I just saw a cat that I know whilst drivin', I might park up on the block, say hi

Mum's house bangin' out Beanie Sigel, I still don't feel much love in the air

Lost faith in God 'cause I thought I was cursed, kept it to myself cah none of them cared

Tellin' my baby, "Wait, I don't know how long it will take, I'm gonna repair

If it all falls down, would you bounce? If none of the tours sold out, are you gonna be there?"

There's a few times I lost faith in music, I put out a tune and it didn't get views

Me and my broski went and came up with a plan back then, but it didn't go through

You know that shit that you say when you're broke, like, "When I get dough, I'ma bring in you too"

Then I blew up and reality hit, shit, now I gotta think this through

Three little brothers, Mum's forty and still ain't paid off her student loan

My Dad can't move, he's fuckin' paralysed, just went through some serious stroke

The mandem callin' me, YG's warnin' me, sayin' that I gotta leave home

I get more money, more problems now, I had less to worry 'bout when I was broke

Remember I had one pair of Air Forces, tryna keep out the creases

Now the front drive look like it's a show room, and none of them leases

I'm extremely grateful for all my people cah none of them leeches

I dropped a tape, got a billion streams and none of them even features

Now my bredrin dissed me and tryna go viral 'cause he ain't blown yet, how is that my fault?

I thought you was Christian, why don't you move like Matthew, Phillip, disciple?

But you wan' snake man, move like Judas 'cause you ain't blew, it's a fuckin' vio

And we're London, bare opportunity, it's not like we live in Ohio

I booked hotels and flights to all of these shows and brought you to all of these countries

Say thank you and pretend that you're grateful, but when I turn man's back, say fuck me

Whole six months livin' at your mum's, we was with big bro on our own, it was us three

Shouldn't ever bite the hand that feeds you, I leave man starvin' cah you're too hungry

I said that I got you, but you didn't trust me, I would've, but you didn't give me the chance

You can ask any one of the mandem now if I ever left 'em in the dark

Whatever's meant to be will be, I can't turn back time or dwell on the past

But I sometimes wonder, "Could have I got this far without losin' my dog?"

[Outro: Mikey Trapstar]

And there you have it

I'ma tell you something

I wish someone told me when I was comin' up

When you come from the trenches

You start doing things for survival

You pass that stage

You start doing things for the paper

'Cause you wanna make up for all the things you never had

You get bored of that quick

You start chasin' greatness

Which will teach you patience

You can't rush it