Why Am I Alive?

WilI I last long when I'm 80?
Putting time in on my own
Counting down the days
Is that why we have kids?
For purpose in old age
It's selfish in a way, bringing life into this world

This ever spinning rock
That's bursting into flames
And all we do is blame
The people that we've learned to hate
But hate can be benign
Essential, I suppose
It's harder to define than that

It's thoughts like this that keep me up
It's thoughts like this that keep me up
It's thoughts like this that keep me up
It's thoughts like this that fuck me up

Thoughts like, "Why am I alive?"
I'm an echo through a hall
Just a product of defect
My parents split up, after all

And I'm trying not to think
Thesе thoughts don't help my case
Just feels like something's wrong
And it's eating at my brain

It's getting quite severe
Consuming everything
It's why I cannot sleep

It's thoughts like this that keep me up
It's thoughts like this that keep me up
It's thoughts like this that keep me up
It's thoughts like this that fuck me up

I know the fix is clear and I'm able
But I'm not sure I want to be fixed at all
It so clearly fills and defines me now
It's like sickness grew to be a part of me