Everybody Gets One For Free

I talk to the waitress

Yeah she was pretty hot

She gave me her number

But that's all I got

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free

Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

Started a conversation

About the United Nations

Had to use imagination

She was talking about reincarnation

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free

Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

Stayed up all night drinking

When I should've been home

Had a vision of the blessed virgin

Butt now I'm not sure at all

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free

Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

Miguel Urbiztondo

Backstage New Year's Eve

When the policeman came to look for him

He said "What the fuck do you know?"

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free

Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

She from the Inland Empire

Her dad was an umpire

Her mama was a go-go dancer

Everybody got in for free

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free

Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

I know that our last record

Didn't do very well

But now we're back on the block

With our freedom rock?

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free

Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

The Montreal policeman

Wouldn't get off his ass

So all your shit was stolen

What's the matter with that?

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free

Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

I got a yellow carnation

I got some Kevlar pants

I got a new American Century

Do the freedom-hater's dance

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free

Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

I was driving in my car

It was filled up with yams

For no obvious reason

That's just who I am

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free

Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free

Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

Last call

Find the one

Everybody gets one

Everybody gets one 'cept for me

Everybody gets one 'cept for me

'cept for me