BITCH!

[Skit]

I-It's live from [?] Calabasas, California

Home of Kim Kardashian's lobster (Lobster, lobster, lobster)

Two sellouts and one hot take

T-t-totally facts (O-o-oh my god)

Meet Cole (Let's go)

Responsible for the utter demise of Lindsay Lohan's relationship with Lovatic (I never said that Lovatic's my friend)

And creator of cancel culture

Cole brings a fresh unique problematic take on what it means to be this year's number one **** (Boo)

I can't

College dropout and current record holder for most twitter deactivations in a thirty day period

See how long it takеs for this fag to get a California five-one-fivе-O

Two sellouts and one hot take

T-t-totally facts (Oh)