How to Serve Man (The Meanest Things I'd Never Say)

[Intro]

"What are you thinking right now?"

"I would really prefer not to tell you what’s going on in my head right now."

"I really wanna know. I'm not going to hold it against you, I promise I'm a big girl, I can handle it, just tell me what’s going on in your head."

"Mr. Chambers, don’t get on that ship! The rest of the book, "to serve man", it’s- it’s a cookbook!"

[Verse 1]

That’s not a hand, it’s a claw;

And this is not a song, it’s an exorcism of numbness

We are not in my bedroom anymore, it’s a prison camp that I’ve been stuck in

This isn’t skin, it’s a scramble suit with a thousand me’s rotating

That’s not your mouth, that’s a boredom generator; powered by irritation

We aren't a couple, we’re isolationists who to try to use the buddy system

And that wasn’t sex, it was a competition for power that I’m clearly winning

But that’s not victory, matter of fact I think I’m better off forfeiting

You go for the gold, girl, I’m about to bounce out to Deadwoods Hills for cleaner living

And I really do

[Hook x4]

I hope it all works out like you want it to

[Verse 2]

This is not Brooklyn, it’s a colony of wayward bees without a queen

And we’re not people, we’re like Sims controlled by childish deities

But see we’re alive now and it’s not time we’re wasting here

Nah this is life and you’re so (pretty)

Like the gleam off that blade when you slipped my ribs the shivy

This ain’t a break up, I like to think of it as a stay of execution

And that’s not the air I’m clearing, it’s the wispy trails of our cumulus pollution

And that’s not despair you’re feeling, it’s the petulant reaction of a wounded child

And that’s not the door I’m looking at, it’s an escape hatch to the zeppelin we’re inside

And I really do

[Hook x4]

I hope it all works out like you want it to

[Verse 3]

You’re not a woman, you’re a piranha with cutlery for dentured up smile

And I’m not a man, I’m an incomplete punchline of a joke I don’t understand

That’s not your diary, it’s a cookbook, and I’m your favorite chapter when you’re bored

And that’s not a love letter, it’s a recipe for the same slop you served before

This ain’t an insult, it’s the clearest truth I’ve ever had the misery to speak

These aren't words, these are the terms of my surrender and defeat

But I’m not sorry, beyond the sorry nature of existing with no plans

Please don’t touch me, just wave goodbye with that claw that not’s a hand

Did I mention that…

[Hook x16]

I hope it all works out like you want it to

And I really do…