Coal Train Robberies

[Verse 1]

Yesterday's coal train came to rest in the bitter cutting

And while the signals took an age to change, it was easy pickings

So you go to the movies where they smash it up

You want to feel your heart pumping, it makes you feel good

All through the karaoke girls were squealing the hits

While another Mercedes-Benz gets blown to bits

[Verse 2]

While all the time in the camp town theaters of Piccadilly

They're going to throw a black-face minstrel show

For the barefoot children that they're always selling

They'll say "It's quaint" as the guilty ones faint

And claim they ain't underneath this paint

We interrupt these liberal saints

With their whips and watermelon

[Chorus]

Reports are coming in of a coal-train robbery

It's like another world, or it had better be

[Verse 3]

So we return to the whitewashed pout of his committed lips

Since he was declared the long lost fountain of youth

That drips and drips and drips

They'll be sending him 'round from door to door

To sell you back what's already yours

"So many good deeds, so little time"

Say the advertising agency swine

When man has destroyed what he thinks he owns

I hope no living thing cries over his bones

If you don't believe that I'm going for good

You can count the days I'm gone

And chop up the chairs for firewood

[Chorus]

Reports are coming in of a coal-train robbery

It's like another world, or it had better be

Reports are coming in of a coal-train robbery

It's like another world, or it had better be

[Outro]

Reports, reports, reports, reports