ShadyXV

[Verse]

I'm liable to start a violent spark with a silent thought

I disgust you like dialogue from The Shop to The Wired Frog

Night club, shit, I was taught

If your CD's on fire you had to put it out yourself like Highland Park

No fire department, so you might not hear sirens at all

But don't be alarmed if I sound off

Something just ain't right with me, dog

A martyr on a private charter, whose life could be harder?

Widely regarded highly? Bite me, sweetheart

I'm slightly retarded, but tonight I'm startin'

Shit, I'm feeling self righteous and might just hop in a mosh pit

On some Mike Tyson and Pac shit

Lookin' to box with anybody, disorderly conduct

I'll fuck around and snort a key and pick a fight with a locksmith

Fan of The LOX, bananas, manic, I'm going in shock

Frantic, I'm trapped in a closet

Panic attack 'cause I'm claustrophobic

No, faggot, I mean I can't maneuver for movement

'Cause I have no room for improvement

I'm practically squashed, compacted and boxed in

Toxic, cans of arsenic, flammable bars, examine the content

Bar exam, start of insanity

Charles Hamilton slash Manson and Bronson

Argh, animal snarls, cannibal jaws

Shark mandibles, lambs to the slaughter

Looking skantless as Hannibal's stalking

Anthony Hopkins with his hands in his pockets

*Whistle* Black out, Zach Galifianakis

Gallons of vodka, but that gal has some knockers

I bet'cha they ring a bell when I come back and I'm conscious (Uh)

What happened, doc? I passed out again

Alcohol's making me break into vacant's naked

Stolen Magnavox and bag Cirocs in back of a Datsun

Fell asleep watching Fear Factor and Scare Tactics

Too close to the StairMaster

Poked a hole in the air mattress and popped it

Woke up shortly thereafter, hungover

No underwear, grasping a Bayer Aspirin and dropped it

Air Maxes in my closet are preposterous, Nikes made out of ostrich

And the cross stitching is a cross mixing

Of a rhinoceros, possum skin, giraffe and a dolphin

Fin, cotton Dockers, OshKoshes, drop crotches

Swatch watches and sneakers match with the parkas

But it's like being overstaffed at a boxing gym

With all these trainers, but I don't have any boxers

And I'm standing here naked, hangover, still wasted

Like paper you write raps on, obnoxious

Yo, why does it always sound like I'm grabbing my nostrils?

Fuck that, I'll battle 'em all, I'll battle a mall

I’ll stand there and yell that at a wall

'Til the mannequin dolls scatter and the inanimate objects

That I'm battering all shatter and fall

'Cause I hear the track and I'm starting to get fucking amped

I'm a spark plug, I'm like the car with the cables

Hooked up to my fucking back, I'm a Duracell

But I sure as hell got it backwards 'cause y'all get jumped

And I'll catch the battery charge, but

I got a hunch like your back when it's arching

When I start attacking your squadron

You'll feel like MasterCard when I'm charging

So take a swipe at me, I'm coming straight at you

Like Clay Matthews from the Green Bay Packers

So get the sack like Wisconsin

That's nutbag that I'm talking, who am I kidding?

You faggots are all gonna do my bidding

Don't get dragged to the auction

Neiman Marcus, bags of Vuitton and all

I'll push a bitch into oncoming traffic, just watch this

Stretched, tinted, black sedan my ass

See how mad you act when I drop you off at Saks Fifth Ave

In a fucking taxi cab to go shopping

Affable guy next door's laughable

My next whore's gonna have mechanical arms

That'll jack me off with a lotion dispenser with a motion sensor

No emotion, hence I guess this sick prick dies hard

I got a Magic Johnson

It's like a Magic Wand allows me to not let a blonde arouse me

If Ronda Rousey was on the couch with the condoms out

Holding a thousand Magnums at once to pounce me

I laugh in response to how she dances and flaunts it around me

Her flat little badonkadonk is bouncing around

And all I see is Paulie Malignaggi, she's Slaughterhouse in a blouse

And Madonna with mud on her, God dammit I am a misogynist

I slap Linda Ronstadt with a lobster, throw her off a balcony

Just so happens she's fond of algae

'Cause now she faceplants on the concrete

Complete lack of responsibility

Half of you assholes ain't strong enough to pick up a spirit

Shit, you fags couldn't shoplift at a thrift shop

But I let the track lift 'em up, boost the energy

Klepto, I'm back to rip shop up, but my thing is this now

Five-finger discount

Been rapping so long I've been killing this shit, it's easy

Kidnapping your mom 'cause I'm still in this bitch, thievery

Ransom for JonBenét Ramsey, and Chandra Levy, and Gary Condit

(Em) Paul was scared that if I went back to the blonde

I might relapse, get on some bullshit

Perhaps I'll launch some cracker taunts at Action Bronson

Macklemore, Mac Miller and Asher Roth

And have some back and forths

And record a wack response to Kendrick Lamar's "Control" verse

And perform "FACK" in concert

(Ow, ow, ow, hands up, hands up, hands up)

Yo, I put that shit on a greatest hits album

Now that was awesome

It takes some massive balls to do some shit like that

Sometimes I have to ponder why people are like (I'll stick around)

And put up with my crap so long for, what's the attraction, mama?

Is it the fact that I'm a walking, talking, actual quadruple entendre

Or the pointy nose that's pointing at you, mama?

Who knows at this point, it's always poking so na-ah

Still get along with this voice 'cause that's the "Monster"

So do-si-do with the (na-ah) sociopath

Everyone who knows me knows that

What they don't know is the fact Rihanna calls me Pinocchio

(Na-ah) She loves the way I lie

Sits on my face and waits for my nose to grow

Pathological liar, oh, why am I such an asshole

That my disguise is pants, but they on fire

So am I a, (Wu) Cappadonna, cut the track off

Sabotage Christmas, crap in your stocking

I'm wrapping up all the presents

In fucking camouflage so you can't even find 'em

Jack Santa Claus, snap Rudolph's antlers off

Wrap his schnoz in gauze bandage and blind him

Blowing a head gasket at Bed, Bath and Beyond

Put the basket back all the bath salt packets are gone, I

Know you really tired of me sampling Billy Squier

But classic rock acid rap is the genre

Got Slash on guitar, splash of Bizarre, Thrasher, and Aerosmith

And I'm a spectacular archer, feed Count Dracula Chocula

Godzilla, half dragon and Bob Dylan, bandwagoners

I'm kicking the damn stragglers off and I'm strangling 'em

Smack Kim Basinger on her ass in the sauna