[PAIGE, spoken]
Ladies and gentlemen, Softball: The Musical
[BERNIE, spoken]
Aw, shucks
Another day of bein' knocked around
You know, it stinks being a softball
I wish I could be
A hardball
[BERNIE]
You know, I'm tired of it
Taking hits all the time, yes, I'm tired of it
This abuse is a crime
And if only I could toughen up
And have courage, I swear
I'd finally leave this stadium
And see the world out there
[PAIGE, FRANKIE & VIKING GUY]
You know, he's tired of it
[BERNIE]
I'm tired of it
[VIKING GUY]
Come here, softball
And I will hit you hard
It's the rule of the ball to get hit by the bat
And I won't hold anything back
And the crowd will hear a crack
Now, prepare for a bat attack
[BERNIE]
No!
[DIRK, spoken]
He's the bad guy!
[BERNIE, spoken]
Snack bar foods
I need to stand up to the bat
Do you have any advice?
[PAIGE, spoken]
Sure, we've got some advice
[FRANKIE]
You should probably buy a hot dog
[BERNIE, spoken]
What?
[FRANKIE]
It'll give you lots of energy
[PAIGE]
And while you're at, you should buy some pretzels
[BERNIE, spoken]
Not helpful
[PAIGE]
We're salty and we only cost $4.93
[DIRK, spoken]
Hahaha, snack bar foods don't talk
[BERNIE]
I've been through so much pain
My stitching's black and blue
[AMELIA]
I promise I won't drop the ball
I'm right here under you
I'll catch you
[BERNIE]
Will you catch me?
[AMELIA]
I'll never let you fall
I'll catch
[BERNIE & AMELIA]
You
[DIRK, spoken]
She caught him
[BERNIE, spoken]
Ah!
You're not gonna knock me around anymore, bat
Because this softball has become a hardball
[VIKING GUY, spoken]
You listen to me, do you, ball?
'Cause I never meant to hurt you
I only wanted to hit you out of the stadium so that you could finally
Live your dream
[BERNIE, spoken]
You mean, this whole time you've
Been trying to help me?
[DIRK, spoken]
Oh my gosh
[BERNIE, spoken]
But, glove
I-I can't take you with me
[AMELIA, spoken]
It's okay
You don't need a glove to catch you anymore
Because you'll be soaring
[BERNIE, spoken]
Thank you, everybody
I'll always be with you
[PAIGE, FRANKIE, AMELIA & VIKING GUY]
He'll hit you hard
He'll hit you hard
READ MORE ABOUT ETHAN WACKER
