Don’t want to leave my home to do a tour with crummy pay
But if they make an offer to you whatcha really gonna say?
It’s hard to play an empty room, it’s hard to book a tour
So you pray some bigger band might say that you can come support
It might be a hassle , it’s a tragedy, a parody but how you gonna haggle
When you know it’s only charity?
Support tours, it’s iffy, it’s $250 at the best, but they know a thousand others who would do the tour for less. Support tours, you had to understand the situation, a band needs having patience for the vast humiliation
So I hit the open road and ate a lot of crazy gravel but with good songs and merch
I always found a way to travel
But I found that booking tours can be more trouble than it’s worth
Who would see your unknown band when there’s ten million on the Earth?
So the bassists scan the internet for tours that get announced on it
And if no support’s confirmed that’s when you take a leap and pounce on it
Support tours, drummers who are nice can turn cold-hearted, so you can’t return them home owning less money than they started
Support tours, the bassist has to grit those teeth and face it
Pay to stay in hotel? No way! It’s work, not education
And after many sleazy years you nearly have your own career and you can book a little tour and you can pick where you appear
Now you book the tour supports and of course like chicken pox
Every band you ever met will pop up quick in you inbox
Now they want to know if there’s support acts that are yet confirmed
So you make them awful offers cause I guess it’s just your turn
Support tours, I’m in it for the money, is that funny?
I’m a working class musician with no funding in my country
Support tours, I gotta find a way to make it work so I just cut so many corners I get dizzy from the circle
Support tours, the sweet and sour secret of the trade
You learn to squeeze in every way to turn the lemons lemonade
Support tours, I’m thinking out my best when I get desparate
Find a way to make it pay cause it’s my job not an investment
Don’t want to leave my home to do a tour with crummy pay
But if they make an offer to you whatcha really gonna say?
‘Hi Jeffrey nice to hear from you, we’ve got avails April 11 thru May 15, the tour starts in Omaha, you’d be first act of three, the budget is 50 to 150 a night / but I’ll see if I can up it a little in the major markets, unfortunately we can’t have you on the bill in Portland, San Fran or Seattle because you were just out there last month, need to know ASAP because we’re announcing tomorrow so please hit me back…’
Jeez, let me think about it….. Yes!!
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