Bipolar

[Verse]

I'm sick of being told being myself isn't working

Like everything I do is all for no purpose

But I feel the greatness inside of me

Yeah, it's like diggin' a grave, I unearth it

I'm always at war with the past and the current

And my mental health got my brain always swirlin'

It's scary, it's kind of like I'm Tyler Durden

I'm bipolar, yeah, I carry that burden

Got highs and lows, but fine on the surface

I might explode, like, nobody's perfect

But even with all of this pain that I battle

I still find the strength, take a track and I murk it

Nobody can stop me, it's not even worth it

They try to get by me, I'm not even nervous

Got real ones beside me, the kind you can't purchase

I feel like the only one left in the circus

So unapologetically me

Outstreaming labels, could show you the stats

Let 'em read it and weep

They all tried to sign me, I've read all the offers

They'd love me deceased

I don't need the industry, grateful to everyone

Got all the fans that I need

We're 'boutta take over, been craftin' the videos

Do it, I'll still wear my heart on my sleeve

And fear on my face

Signifies how I demolished the pain

Think it's a statement 'bout COVID, its not

Where 2018 never changed

They still throwin' dirt on my name

They wanted me gone 'cause they hate how I'm sayin' the truth

I'm not like the others, stay true to myself

No, I don't gotta change to get views

They don't know the first thing about me

They always assume, so

I'ma just let 'em, they'll hate me no matter whatever I do

Whatever I do gonna last, I can't say the same about you

Most of you don't have a clue, like

They all come and go, the gimmicks get old and then

One day, nobody shows up to the shows

I've seen it, it's tragic

They really don't know how long I've been rappin'

It's been like a decade, the music is spreading

The people that doubted don't know where I'm headed

They don't understand what I've been through

Or what I might do to live out all my dreams

I've been dreading the thought of a panic attack

Got me sweating, but I gotta kill it, no matter the setting

I can't have it holding me back if I'm stressing

I just gotta dive in and do it, no treading

It's so exhausting, tryna navigate this life

'Cause everyone you see expects you to just be normal all the time

I'm not normal, one day I'm depressed and lay in bed

The next, I'm fine, it takes ten times the effort to even try

If you really knew me, you would know what I bottle up

I've been workin' every night, 'cause I'm scared I won't drop and

I remember bad days, all the pills I was coughing up

I've had the Devil on my shoulder, yeah, he's always so ominous

Cleaned up, found God, I'm a whole new Josh

Ain't nobody is touchin' me, all the ones that look up to me

'Boutta really see a whole new level that I been on

No one is close, compared to me everybody else

Sounding so gross, I'm 'boutta make seven mill', did it all on my own

And everybody else scared, better stay on their toes

Got all these lame little rappers always sayin' the most

So when I see 'em, I'll be like, "Get off my throne"

I know I'ma do it, regardless of my mental health

It's more than the music, it's provin' myself

Whatever might happen, I know I'll excel

So, get off my throne, yeah, yeah

Yeah, get off my throne, uh, yeah