Undesirable Element (Lovebox)

[Verse 1]

So far everything's going swimmingly

I'm feeling over confident (yeah)

Standing at the gates with my arms straight out

Just chatting to the bouncers, all nonchalant

But I'm suddenly aware of this movement, below me

Something circling my trainers

And in a split second I realise

I'm fucked, there's no way this is gonna be painless

The dog barks

And before I can pull myself together

Swiftly approaches a PC (beautiful)

She looks me dead in the eye and says

'Sir, I know you're carrying something you shouldn't be'

And then she says 'put your palms together'

And takes me in this weird thumb hold thing

Leading me through that gawping crowd

Told my mum she would've been so proud

So now I'm sitting on a bench in a holding tent

Thinking I'm way too old for this shit

And there's not much to do but take off my shoes

And hand over my disco biscuits

And she thanking me for my compliance and saying

'You seem quite honest to me sir

But we still need to a very thorough strip search

I'm afraid it's just standard procedure'

[Chorus]

I was only looking for a good time Officer

Good time, good time, good time

I was only looking for a good time Officer

Good time, good time

[Verse 2]

Now I'm standing there in my birthday suit

With my crowned jewels pulled to one side (one side)

And there's a neon sign that keeps flashing in my mind

It says 'not quite dignified'

And if you combined the two ages of the officers watching

I doubt it's more than 36

And I'm thinking

I bet you didn't sign up to spend all your weekends

Inspecting strangers dicks

I pull up my clothes and join the rest of the criminals

Making various protests

Standing in line to be processed

Interview, autograph, fingerprints, photograph

A skinny moustache on the man reading my rights

He says a lot of other stuff I can't remember

And for the purpose of this story it's irrelevant

And he finishes with the wisdom

'Oh oh now sir, you are the undesirable element'

(Undesirable, undesirable)

[Chorus]

I was only looking for a good time Officer

Good time, good time, good time, yeah

I was only looking for a good time Officer

Good time, good time, good

I was only looking for a good time Officer

I was only looking for a good time

I was only looking for a good time

I was only looking for a good time