Outro

Instrumental: Flowers by Madlib

[Verse]

I try and be upbeat (I try and be upbeat…)

I try remain comfy (I try remain comfy…)

But somedays it’s inescapable how agitated I get

A million and one things are racing through my head

Nauseated/ yep/ but with my pen I’m sick

I know that but that comfort doesn’t come as quick

As I’d expect it to I’m sceptical to what the future holds

But still behold the spectacle

No point in chasing steps/ I make them

I’ll take a breath/ clear my head and view what’s irking me

And work out why I’m seeing red or feeling blue

Refuse to feed the next demonic thought that’s sought to poison me

I’ll fight to keep my soul in tact/ I seem as blessed as I can be

My friends/ my girl/ my family

And I’ll be damned if I rebuke the Lord for all this torment mentally

Was born an entity who refused to crawl into his bed and sleep

That was two or four/ this week it hit me that I’m 21

With thoughts of jealousy/ paranoia pinching me

Latched and caught in grips and seized

A year ago I’d be the one who would succumb

To every clutch but now it’s backing off

I’m breaking free/ I’ll carry on remembering my past mistakes

No longer stepping on those shards again

I learnt a lot I’ve changed and that’s my word to God

Not Charlemagne/ I’m hardly Drake

But nothing was the same when I was young and dumb

And tryna carve a name out for myself

When I had doubts for myself and I was shouting for help

Drowning in this swimming pool and weeping at the deep-end

All the time I’d been at school I hated it

‘Til I learnt to be more sociable

Someone people could approach like

Cool, I need your help/ I need advice

I need your thoughts/ I need your eyes

I need your words/ I need your mic

I need an arm on which to lay my head and cry

I’m still that guy…

But still I’m far from sane with half a brain

And can’t believe that I could even last a day

But I’ve been told I’m good

Been told I’m chill/ been told I’m cute

Been told I’m sick/ been told I will make it

It means so much for me to hear it

‘Cause my work keeps me coherent

I should be rolling with no fear at all

But I’m scared as hell

Broken/ soaked in soulful tears of joy and pain

The type you don’t see but that’s just life

You know me/ I’ll make the best of it

A testament to my will and faith

I write it mostly in the hope that I can feel at ease

‘Cause I get shocked when I do bad

But still get wounded when I do good

Still look at my reflection saying “do you”

Those who do me wrong will do me wrong

A depressing fact but don’t be someone else

Thinking that’s the end of that

I stood my ground throughout the bullshit I’ve encountered

And I’m glad and thankful for the strength I have to be the best I can

It’s stressful man

Guess now would be the perfect time to end the track