complex (live with strings)

I'm 21, the edge is razor thin
Between being numb and feeling everything
Good days only serve as relief again

Now I'm watching as I waste away my days and then
It's a cross dissolve, it's a scene I've played before
And the leading role that I thought I'd hold
Doesn't listen to me anymore

But I'm wearing his boxers
I'm being a good wife
We won't be together
But maybe the next life
I need him like water
He lives on a landslide
I cry in his bathroom
He turns off the big light

I'm being the cool girl
I'm keeping it so tight
I carry him home while
My friends have a good night
I need him like water
He thinks that I'm alright
I'm not feeling human
I think he's a good guy

But it's complex
It's a complex

Triangular, I can see them now
Three points at which I let myself down
I was just a girl, what's the excuse now?

Too regular, this pattern I've
Been taking shelter in, reaching new highs
When I was 19, I wanted to die

Now I just want to kill you
But I don't want to paint you the victim
And I talk a good game
I'd die for just the promise you'd listen

But I'm wearing his boxers
I'm being a good wife
We won't be together
But maybe the next life
I need him like water
He lives on a landslide
I cry in his bathroom
He turns off the big light

I'm being the cool girl
I'm keeping it so tight
I carry him home while
My friends have a good night
I need him like water
He thinks that I'm alright
I'm not feeling human
I think he's a good guy

But it's complex
It's a complex

It's a complex
I'm a complex