An Underlying Hum

Did I fall away from God

Or did he fall away from me?

I internalized myself

And became all I chose not to be

It's a cascade of doubt

That runs my vision

It's a moment of self

That makes the division

I could've turned back

And went the other way

But my gut told me

Where the cards needed to lay

It's a second of relief

It's the gun to my teeth

It's an underlying hum

There isn't a shroud of doubt

That I deserve this

I'm made of these things

And now they become my purpose

I moved every way I could

Toed every single line

The moments that made me

Are growing in my spine

I'll take, till these last seconds

I'll wait for God to answer every damn question

If he made me, why did I have to be like this? (Be like this?)

The pain, it's in every fucking lesson

Ill hold this weight till the very last message

If he made me, why did I have to be like this? (Be like this?)

I'm stuck with myself and that's never been enough

I'm looking for a way out and I'm losing touch

They never listened

Always had a condition

They never listened

Always had a condition

They never listened

Always had a condition

They never listened

Always had a condition

It's just an underlying hum

It's just an underlying hum