The Ouija Board

{Laurie}

In 1978, I spent some time in California in the fall, Looking for a quiet place to live. I finally found what seemed to be the perfect apartment, but the night after I moved in I heard a tremendous pounding sound. As it turned out, I had moved in right above a Hawaiian hollow log drum school. Every other night, it was converted into a hula school, with a live band of six Hawaiian guitars

I decided to soundproof my place, but I didn't hang the door very well and all the sounds kept drifting in

About this time, like a lot of New Yorkers who find themselves on the West Coast, I got interested in various aspects of California's versions of the occult

We would sit around at night while the Santa Ana winds howled outside and ask questions to the ouija board

I found out a lot of information on my past 9,361 human lives on this planet

My first life was as a raccoon

[Laurie and Voice Of Authority]

And then you were a cow

And then you were a bird

And then you were a hat, spelled the Ouija

We said "a hat?" We couldn't figure it out

Finally we guessed that the feathers from the bird had been made into a hat. Is this true?

Yes, spelled the Ouija

Hat counts as half life

And then?

Hundreds and hundreds of rabbis

[Laurie]

Now this is apparently my first life as a woman, which should explain quite a few things

Eventually though, the Ouija's written words seemed to take on a personality, a kind of a voice. Finally we began to ask the board if the Ouija would be willing to appear to us in some other form

[Voice of Authority]

FORGET IT

FORGET IT

FORGET IT

FORGET IT

FORGET IT

FORGET IT-

[Laurie]

The Ouija seemed like it was about to crash

Please, please, what can we do, we were nagging now, so you will show yourself to us in some other manifestation?

[Voice of Authority]

You should lurk. You should L-U-R-K. Lurk

[Laurie]

Now I never really figured out how to lurk in my own place, even though it was only a rented place, but I did find myself looking over my shoulder a lot

And every sound that drifted in seemed to be a version of this phantom voice whispering in a code that I could never crack