DOLANTRAIN

[Intro: Danger Dolan]

Planet Dolan

[Verse 1: Danger Dolan]

Uh, feelin' like a Top 15 or a questionary

Tell my PD commenters, get they questions ready

Send 'em to the channel plenty with answers, very merry

Don't be weird, fucka, is you ready?

I've been thinkin' 'bout all the dubs in my career now (What?)

X the hoes in my posse, 'round the same amount (What?)

Ever since this new Tube fame came about

Or ever since me and Kevin started hangin' out, huh

Kitten, let her gun bang, let the cunt spray

Transition to a diamond button from a gold thang

Dolls slang in the top game from the hustling

(I know one thing) Nothing here is better than that Dolan Train

Job off the coast guard, cheffin' like we Boyar—

Dee, probably reppin' D on your biggest channel

Hat like I'm the Don, my la familia go hard

Down to my brothas, they fucked up, good morals

[Verse 2: Hellbent]

We blow up, then I bogart, any folks that throw tokes at

With a toe-tag, get broke off from Destruna with a 5-star

I roll past and I burn y'all like, "Hi there" I hate y'all

When the steam serves, I eat y'all like, "Steamed hams!"

Let's play ball in a ballpark with an oligarch and a blindfold

I rhyme cold, I'm Hell hot, your mind fold, that hark like heralds on

That attempt of a stream clip, coming in straight from the slip—

Up, make that shirt say F.U.C.K. on Kirk shit

If I'm not the hottest then Hellbent done froze over

You thought we was gone then forgot what our goal was

I carry traits of a mistaken whore or

A king fell from grace, I might snap, I might ghost ya'

Spine right out of place, give me love like you 'posed to

Claws at your posters, harsh nights like this

I burn up like I hope to, I might groom a bitch

Or go bomb like Ye's Vultures and drop off the cliff

[Verse 3: Nixxiom]

Barely even conscious, yappin' in the comments

Gettin' deeper in my voice like corpses

I'm on my porsche shit, don't drop bars, my flow quickens

Don't tell faux, seen the questions through my vision

Somehow bypassed the drama and autism

The stalking and the spillin', so given

They hear my pitches and thought that was the cringe shit

But fortunately, I am not the guy from Reddit

So pass the metal, let me Skillet

Just got back to the block from a 6 o'clock with cryptids

And I'm thinkin' 'bout signin' to Sony

But my fuckas in the spot still at YouTube on both knees

And I swear it hurt me soul

I try to prevail but when I preach I only hurt their subs

Like you're only gon' end up either washed up or mugged

But you my co-host, wish you the best for real

[Verse 4: Pringle]

When you mention my name amongst other Dolan hosts

Or for that matter any fuckin' YouTuber, fuck it

Artist, gamer, musician, disrespected, dirt-mud-eatin'

Fry kitchen, no buck, cussin' YouTubein', you would be in

Trouble to 'count recover or couple me to another

'Cause comparatively speakin', my slate is beyond the others

That I'm working in, my paper's beyond the hussle

I'm bundled with noobies in, new Qs again?

You in school at 10, flunked, channel is gonna be goin' in gold

And so? Great! Do I need a flyin' crux

To find a lotta' love to my tryin' plus a line, give up

Pringle's chips are climbin' up—wait! No, I don't give a

Flying duck nothin' but a punch-drunk; click, blaow!

Motherfuck your stance, racist blood-clot

Ain't never been no Tuber this cold since jawed was froze

And thawed out for a spot date at an AI show—Pringle

[Verse 5: Melissa Morgan]

We in different columns like it's Cosmodore and Salty

And I'm going overhead like bars you hear on this beat

Antsy 'cause I'm high like PewDiePie, How High?

Barrel poppin' in the sun, in Japan, with shades on

Bro coochie smell like a pigeon

Wouldn't answer it on my husband's damn wishlist

Bitch, when I say fact, I mean it

Bean maker, I'm the meanest

Lore so big, it's on par with TLH: Revamped

Those curses got me nauseous, aw, shit, no cough drip

All this is obnoxious, on that "lick girl cock" shit

That is my synopsis, ostrich is a top bitch

Kids on some hot shit, stop it! This not it!

Novel of mindspit, heartful and awkward

Cryin' tears of yolk, a prima donna in the content

The don is the next chronic, got them as riled as folks with Sonic

Just bein' honest, tell me, all of that's on us then?

[Verse 6: Dolan's Brother]

Quickly, I boost the views up 60

A legendary, so you know I brought the cake with me

The screen's reflection off my face hit me

You should have stayed with me

Now many YouTube admins lay with me

The face is drawn like a paper bought

My shorty droppin' in the mornin' in the shower like a racin' horse

Platinum records dropped from Raq kids very often

Confetti torchin', suckin' Pennys like Jimmy Donaldson

Quite freaked up, I fixed the beef between Smosh and Ryan Higa

You see us put the weed up, sellin' Zach Jamblins

Yo Mama's dirt, raises 'bestos like the phantom

Damn, this shit looks like ass backwards, uh

You see me comin' through at each date

Just so the lord could put the comment in the template

Cuffed to my sack, I've got the briefcase

The gavel buck, I'm all free, bruh, try not to cook duck

[Verse 7: Shima Luan]

Shima Luan

Spit like my last vid: vagueness queen, six deep

Dilate, the cat is back, out come the questions asked

After that, channels I can't pronounce, like, "How you watchin' that?"

Why you ask for ass and all you like is trash?

All I had was acting, all they had was crass

All I wanted was peace and all they had done snapped

Fuck them stalkers and fuck them clones, a number one win is

The aftermath, ask Nicole C., open palm, slap a cracker

Walk the rope or break a rule, I've been in the business of circus tricks

Chokin' raccoons out with the dough that they named with

Resuscitations cost a pilot, I'm taxin' if you want a clip

Clear, fuck your career, bitch, we was born here

Been a kitter, '34er bredda, that's my home to yer'

Get the fuck from out here, that's just my creepy ways

Lickin' on my booty cheeks, bitchin' while I was sharpenin' blades

Grippin' roles, startin' games, breakin' jaws like Edding, bae

Miss me with that Theater chatter, go to WorldCorp with my case

I put that in my blood, how could you ever clown me?

Most tubers hopin' the site crash so they won't have to hear another story

Dolan, he saw the role in me, so why can't you?

In order to come up close, you'll have to dig up Mat and NormalBoots

(That wasn't no sample, fucka!)

Wettened water flow, creepypasta past

Fuck your nazi flag, poppin' PD tags on your waifu's ass (on your waifu's ass)

That's out of line, but for Chazington, huh?

I'm more like Marilyn Monroe on you old fuckers: a true furry

[Outro: Seymour Skinner, Superintendant Chalmers & Ms. Skinner]

Good lord! What is happening in there?

Aurora Borealis

A-... Aurora Borealis? At this time of year! At this time of day! In this part of the country! Localized entirely within your kitchen?!?

Yes

May I see it?

No

Seymour! The house is on fire!

No, mother, it's just the Northern Lights

Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say, you steam a good ham

Help! Help! Help!