Hey There Ophelia

The name’s Hamlet and I’ve got a tale

About madness, lust and a female

Dad’s a ghost and he roams the floors

Lurks at night in Elsinore

Got a pale face just like Kiss paint, normal you know this ain’t

Something is rotten up in Denmark, a sick mistake

My Uncle Claudius, his alibi is fishy

Suspicions of murder because he’s acting hella shifty

Frailty – thy name is woman because my mom’s on his D-

A-N-I-S-H throne my Dad’s ghost tells me

“Swear (swear, swear), to revenge my regicide

Claudius iced me one night, under my crown he tries to hide

So Hamlet here’s your mission: use your antic disposition

Make them think you’re crazy, bring justice fuse the fission”

Meanwhile my girl Ophelia is goth as hell

Keeps a razor by her wrist, rocks out to Soft Cell

This girl has got more issues than Amy Winehouse

I’m like get thee to a nunnery, I’m not trying to find a spouse… and she says:

“Screw that forget about that I don’t want to think about anything like that

Screw that forget about that I don’t want to know about anything like that”

Chorus:

I’ve got nothing to do

But hang around and get screwed up on you (forget it though)

I’ve got nothing to do

But hang around and get screwed up on you (just let it go)

I’m an emo prince, non-committal as could be

You’d be non-committal too if you were flawed like me

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are on my back and I’ve had it

I’ve got these players down from Norway let them practice in the attic

I’ll have them reenact the murder, watch my uncle’s expression

The play’s the thing to catch the king and teach him a lesson

My uncle freaks out at the play I know he did it just like OJ

Can’t 187 while he prays because Hamlet won’t play that way (nope!)

Confront my mom throw her down on the bed

Because this Oedipus complex has got me stressed in the head

Then I killed my girlfriend’s dad, he was spying now he’s dead

I screamed at my mom while the blood made the carpet turn red

See kings lose crowns but princes stay intelligent

R. Kelly has girl problems? This is drama, that’s irrelevant

Ophelia bursts in throwing columbines and daisies

Singing songs about virginity gone – she’s honest but she’s still crazy

And she says

“Screw that forget about that I don’t want to think about anything like that

Screw that forget about that I don’t want to know about anything like that”

Chorus:

I’ve got nothing to do

But hang around and get screwed up on you (you’ve got to see)

I’ve got nothing to do

But hang around and get screwed up on you (not you it’s me)

We’ve got clowns in the graveyard and I’m talking to skulls

We’ve got murder and incest, who said Shakespeare was dull?

My girlfriend took her life, and I’m like “Goodness gracious”

Her brother wants to duel – Laertes is too pugnacious

My uncle dipped the tip of the saber in poison (duel time)

Then he poisoned the cup that mom started enjoyin’ (tool time)

I got stabbed with the poison sword, then I stabbed my girlfriend’s brother

And then I stabbed my uncle and we’ve all killed each other

To be or not to be? Well I guess that solves that one

And I would have stayed in Wittenberg if I’d know that this would happen

If you’re ever up in Denmark on a moonlit night

You’ll hear Ophelia’s sad song when the full moon’s bright

Baby I’m sorry I messed up, good night my sweet princess

May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest

And they sing:

Chorus:

I’ve got nothing to do

But hang around and get screwed up on you (forget it though)

I’ve got nothing to do

But hang around and get screwed up on you (just let it go)

I’ve got nothing to do

But hang around and get screwed up on you (you’ve got to see)

I’ve got nothing to do

But hang around and get screwed up on you (not you it’s me)