Jade

[Verse 1]

Met a girl, her name was Jade

Cuts her nails with a razor blade

Says she lives by no one's law

Ran my pride through a big chainsaw

Have you heard of D.B. Cooper?

I got pulled over by an old state trooper

I met a girl, her name was Jade

She cut my face with a razor blade

[Chorus 1]

Yeah, I screamed out in fury

Yeah, but my cries were not heard

Yeah, the judge and the jury

Yeah, they could offer no cure

[Verse 2]

I met a girl, her name was Jade

She got a brand new man and they got engaged

The wedding's gon' be on a big green hill

They hope it won't rain but it probably will

The man, he was a football star

He broke his knee, now he sells cars

Only so much that words can do

Love was blind, but they cured that, too

You know, Gandhi has a son our age

He said the freedom thing's just one big cage

I met a girl, her name was Jade

Her husband died, but she kept his name

[Chorus 2]

Yeah, she screamed out in fury

Yeah, but her cries were not heard

Yeah, her mom was so worried

Yeah, but she could offer no cure

[Verse 3]

Boss man calls for a meeting at noon

Big cigar in an oak board room

We got an idea and we think it's great

Said it was too much so we're gonna try eight

Who made love to Scarlet Jo?

And where the hell did Josh Hartnett go?

I met a girl, her name was Jade

Lived her whole damn life in a masquerade

[Chorus 1]

Yeah, I screamed out in fury

Yeah, but my cries were not heard

Yeah, they said I'll never see 30

Yeah, they could offer no cure

[Outro]

I met a girl, her name was Jade

She cuts her nails with a razor blade